Hello world, it’s me again, the huggable Heather!
I’m the white girl that dates only Asian guys with absolutely no apology… and, depending on who you are, I know what you’re thinking when I say that. Non-Asian guys usually take a step back, take a good look at me, and, with the little wheels in their heads slowly chugging away, they find the only feasible sentence worth saying is, simply:
“Oh…so you like small dick?”
To which I cheerfully reply, “Nope. I find that rumor to be largely unfounded. I just hate ugly faces.”
Watching them walk away with those faces contorted with puzzlement is so amusing, but that’s only if they leave at that moment. Sadly, there are those that press on.
“Well…what do Asian guys have that make them so special? Why don’t you date White guys? Have you considered Black guys? How can you know what you like if you’ve never dated different races? You’re too young to say what you do and don’t like…” etc.
They’re either completely confused and/or jealous as to why an attractive white woman like myself (if I might be conceited enough to say) likes only Asian men.
It’s frustrating to feel constantly challenged on something that shouldn’t matter to anyone but me. People aren’t going to ask me why I date men, so why should they ask me why I date Asian Men? The answer is the same to both questions: because that’s what I’m attracted to.
It’s just that easy.
On the other hand, when Asian men hear about my preference, one of two things happens. The first reaction is complete disgust. I get reprimanded for some purely sexual fetish and how I’m a White Female so I’m supposed to like White guys too, and how can I dislike my White counterpart? According to these Asian Males, I should just get over my daddy issues and stop being self-racist.
This one just gets me angry.
For one, I’m something of a daddy’s girl, even though I don’t rely on him like a typical daddy’s girl would. I mean, he’s not wrapped around my finger and I don’t have my every whim catered to by him, but I know he would do whatever he could for me. We’ve had our differences, like any parent and child will, but I love him and he loves me. Cross daddy issues off the list.
That’s someone that hates their own race and might possibly swap out for another one, right? Actually, I’ve had no problems being White…quite the contrary, admittedly. I understand my White privilege very well and, even though I see how unfair it is, I can’t say I don’t enjoy it. Coincidentally, I know a lot of Asian guys also like non-Asian girls – specifically, White girls. It’s a total win-win situation for me.
What’s not to like?
There’s no arguing with this type, though. They’ve received a false impression of me that won’t be altered, so it’s best just to move on.
So…the second, and most common, reaction is False Hope.
Once this type of Asian guy hears that this white girl only dates Asian men, he’s all over me. He figures that, since he’s Asian, he’s in. I call it false hope because, unfortunately for him, that’s not all it takes. Believe it or not, I have standards other than merely being Asian.
Looking back on the things I’ve liked about guys I’ve dated, I’ve come to a few conclusions about my type.
- I want to be physically attracted to him (EX: good fashion sense, nice hair, and physically fit)
- Have a career (can’t be a scrub!)
- Beat me to the punch-line and be able to make me laugh (good at bantering and having fun)
- Hold a conversation with me that he’s able to carry out without too much prodding on my end
I also like him to NOT try be more Asian or American than he actually is.
If he’s born and bred Texas, I don’t need him to pretend to be less American. While it’s a turn-on when a guy can speak the language of his ancestry, it’s a turn-off when a guy can’t speak it but pretends he can to impress me.
On the other hand, if he’s raised in Taiwan, I don’t want him to deny that heritage either. If he can incorporate that into the conversation without trying too hard, it intrigues me and I want to learn more about him.
The guy should be himself – his charming, witty, confident, Asian/Asian-American self.