Hey there! Heather here with a review on the ABCs of Attraction dating coaching bootcamp– my take on the flirting and socialization workshop for Asian men from the female perspective (read Part 1 here)!
When I first got to the bootcamp, I was surprised to see that there were five students (four Asian guys and one Caucasian man) there and none of them ugly! In fact, they were all pretty attractive, well dressed, had great hygeine (no teeth-brushing for me!) and I thought one of them was really cute and totally looked like the kind of Asian guy I would go for (although I wouldn’t because that would be unprofessional).
It totally shattered my preconceptions about only unattractive, dirty, disgusting old men attending dating coaching bootcamps.
The lecture itself was a pleasant experience in which I even learned a thing or two. I expected to get bored or sleazed out by all the seduction, sexist talk so I brought a Nintendo DS to occupy my ADHD-riddled mind, but I ended up being completely captivated throughout each session!
During the lecture, I was called upon to role-play being a pretty girl so the students could apply what they learned by practice walking up to me, striking up a conversation, and flirting with me as they would in a real life setting.
JT Tran and Sarah Ann reassured me that they wouldn’t have grabby hands and touch me inappropriately, but trusted them enough to know that they wouldn’t. The most contact I received was a soft touch on the shoulder or a handshake, as detailed in the ABCs of Attraction syllabus (the famous Kino Turn).
I really enjoyed listening to the lecture because it was more than just a talk on seduction and flirting for Asian guys, it was practical and informational but also empirical: the studies, statistics and graphs that were presented tickled my inner nerd (which surfaces fairly easily). With these and other materials in the ABCs’ syllabus, it was actually very easy to keep up with everything being taught and I enjoyed every minute of it.
There were also practical drills and exercises that the guys were put through to practice their skills. We pointed out bad habits and gave them positive, constructive feedback (like Sarah showing a student how to style Asian hair).
To be honest, going in-field to the clubs made me somewhat nervous.
As a small-town Mormon girl from Utah, I had never even been to a legitimate club before, let alone with students looking to me to wing them in the seduction and flirting process. I was probably just as tense as the guys were!
The students, though, made me feel a lot better. I got to know each of them a little better as I scouted sets for them to talk to. One of them was familiar with my hometown and we had fun reminiscing about it with all its quirks and whatnot.
Eventually, we would all piece together a fragmented conversation in-between running up to girls, running into each other and witnessing just why JT is called “The Asian Playboy” (and that moniker was definitely earned)!
Some of the debriefs were hard to watch.
On the second night, the most stressful night of the bootcamp, while one student successfully flirted with and romantically connected with a white woman, another one of the students- who had a tough time pushing past his anxiety and fear- felt the wrath that is JT’s infamous drill sergeant mode.
Maybe it was my motherly instinct, but I wanted to tell him that it was fine and that he was a good person and that everything would be okay. Of course, that was what he wanted to hear but that was not what he NEEDED to hear.
JT was giving him what he needed to “man up”, even though he didn’t want it. I went home exhausted and eager to clean up where we left off that night.
During the last night there, we all were content to sit on one of the couches and just talk to each other like the old friends we had become.
It hit home that this would be the last night to spend so much time with each other, despite how hard and frustrating the weekend had been. We talked, shared tidbits about ourselves and generally just enjoyed everyone’s company.
While the objective for the night was being completed, we all felt that it was time to chill, especially after the harrowing experience of the previous night. This was a very much a team bonding experience.
It was the best night of the three and I think everyone had a great time.
Many people are confused about what I do. They’re confused about my line of work and definitely have the wrong impression.
Some people accuse me of promoting date rape while others ask if I like “making Asian man-whores”.
I’ll be 100% honest when I say I love my job and this bootcamp helped me realize just how those misconceptions people have about ABCs of Attraction are completely and utterly wrong!
The ABCs of Attraction is not your typical “seduction” company. I hate that our business is in the “pick up artist” community and how it’s perceived by other people because it’s total misconception because it is not actually reflective of JT”s company which is trying to promote a holistic, healthy, and positive image and lifestyle for Asian men. It really is more about dating coaching and teaching Asian men how to be better, more confident men.
They do not promote mistreating women emotionally or physically, they do not promote “man-whoring” and they do not promote sexism. What I saw at this bootcamp were nice, attractive guys with great personalities, steady jobs or careers and interesting lives, which is the total opposite of what I expected.
I didn’t just help students – I helped friends.
I was so sad that I wouldn’t see these guys on a daily basis anymore that I went home and cried in frustration. While that may be due to the long hours and interrupted sleep pattern, I know that I look forward to hearing about their successes because it means talking to these awesome guys once again (and ladies, they’re single!).
I sincerely hope, for any guy out there contemplating taking a bootcamp from ABCs of Attraction, that this has helped you form an opinion about the workshop. It will be tough. It will be stressful. You will be frustrated and success will not come instantly for you.
But it’s worth it.
I try to keep up with the guys from my bootcamp and I am almost giddy with pride in seeing their success. I am empathetic with frustration when I see them struggle. I know what they are doing is hard and I know that self-improvement doesn’t come easy, but I hope they know that it’s imperative they do this for themselves and their love life.
I want to see each and every one of them attain their goals with women, just like every ABCs student, alumni and Asian man.
Even though I am a woman, I fully support ABCs of Attraction.
Or maybe it’s BECAUSE I’m a woman that I more than fully support the ABCs because I know what it can do for Asian and non-Asian men alike.
I love knowing that I am not only helping Asian men find love but the girls like me, the girls that love Asian men, find good, confident, Asian men who love them.
If I can even be a small part in helping an Asian man form a healthy, happy relationship with a lucky lady when he otherwise would not have had the tools to do so, then I have fulfilled my goal as a girl who supports Asian men.