Why Looking Good Beats Being Good Looking

by JT Tran · 13 comments

The average woman spends 78 minutes getting ready. How much time do you spend on yourself to look and feel good?

The average woman spends 78 minutes getting ready. How much time do you spend on yourself to look and feel good?

I have a ritual while doing laundry that is very simple and very precise. It is also, however, very thorough. I wash and dry clothes and, once they’re done, I fold everything very carefully.

First, I button up and fold my dress shirts while they are still warm from the drier (this prevents creases) and, even though they will just be hung up once I return to my room, it makes it infinitely easier to iron each shirt before I go out.

This simple preventative measure will minimize the number of wrinkles from the get-go. I do the same with my handkerchiefs, smoothing and stacking them while hot and folding the whole lot into quarters to be ironed later.

Second, I fold all my pants into one pile. They are the easiest and I take care to make sure they’re all folded in the same way so they don’t acquire creases over the passage of time. I then fold the V-Necks I will wear out into one pile and the t-shirts I will wear out into another pile. These are separated into different compartments in my closet, so I group them as such.

During this process, I will throw out anything with sweat stains or imperfections. After they’ve been cleaned is the easiest point to decide what has run its course without mistaking a temporary spot for a permanent blemish. I fold all undershirts, socks and underwear and toss them into the basket on top of the other neat stacks. I then turn off the lights and leave the laundry room.

This entire ritual obviously adds more time and effort into my day, but it is well worth it. There are a ton of resources from a lot of different dating companies say that clothes have nothing to do with dating. They will tell you that meeting women is all about your persona and who you are inside, rather than outside. This is absolutely right, but it is also very misleading.

You see, there is a profound difference between being good looking versus LOOKING GOOD. The reason clients love to meet me is because I am neither good looking nor handsome, but “somehow” I am still very successful with women when meeting them.

In other words, it would have been great if I was born tall, dark and handsome, but I think I can settle for being short, stunning and smooth. I will never have the natural advantage of being “good looking“, but I can spend the time and effort to LOOK GOOD.

And that drives women wild.

To women, the type of clothing you wear reflects more than money or status or style, it reflects effort. When you spend time taking care of your clothing and putting together nice outfits, taking into account current fashion and style of dress, you are showing that you take pride in your appearance and that you are willing to make the effort to look nice when the occasion calls for it. She sees this as an augmentation of your personality, this is a good quality and you have it. In layman’s terms, you score more points.

Does this give you better game? No.

Aside from the boost in your own self-confidence, it does not earn you any more approaches or second chances.

Will wearing a suit instead of a t-shirt significantly alter running great game? Probably not. But, the real question is; will it HURT your confidence? No. In fact, it will do the exact opposite. To what degree is debatable. My very intelligent friend Keith (That promotes many popular clubs in Hollywood) always says, “No one has ever been kicked out of a club for dressing too nicely” and he is always right.

I absolutely agree that solid flirting can be run on women without paying a second of attention to your outfit (as long as you don’t smell), but let’s imagine one last situation together…

You’re at a bar chilling out with your friends. You were all out shooting some hoops against another team and decided it was time for a cold one. No time for showers, you need that beer to quench that thirst and after getting the first round, you relax comfortably into your booth only to look out across the bar and see the girl of your dreams. She is the very definition of feminine perfection.

You are confident, suave, and- like me- have Confidence.

You stand up without a moment’s hesitation, approach her and put your silver tongued repartee to work. In 15 minutes she’s into you like crazy, swooning in your arms and in a half an hour, you’ve made a great connection, gotten her number (maybe you’ve even stolen a kiss and a snuggle or three) and gone back to your friends.

Then, the opposing team walks in. They had all gone back home and showered and are now the best dressed gentlemen in the establishment and one of them takes a fancy to the girl you closed. Uhoh.

Here’s the dilemma: He’s got the same amount of C0nfidence that you do.

He’s just as funny as you are and has equally as interesting stories that you do, but he’s got a slight advantage over you by taking that extra time to clean himself up, do his hair, and make himself smell nice. You, on the other hand, still have nasty sweat pit stains under your armpits. Sure, she may not remember him or maybe you made such a strong impression that she’s still swooning, but do you really want to take that chance?

In this game, we have to put our best foot forward. We have to account for every possibly contingency and we have to solve the problem before it happens. Clothing is an easy way to give you an added advantage, so why not take that step. Perhaps, read it this way:

“In order to get your head right, you need to get your threads right!”