Are Tall White Women Attracted to Short Asian Men?

by Heather · 91 comments

Masi Oka is just 5 foot 6 inches

Masi Oka is just 5 foot 6 inches

Huggable Heather here! The most ironic thing about me dating only Asian men (short or otherwise), I feel, is my body type. At 5’9”, 150 lbs and hips to spare, I’m a relatively tall white woman and I know I’m NOT the kind of girl that Asian men typically go for.

Before I get called out for stereotyping or generalizing, I do have my reasons and experiences.

For every short Asian man that does come forward and say that hips are attractive, there are at least ten of them that expect a less curvaceous figure from me. While there are some short Asian men that are attracted to tall white woman, there are so many more that are turned-off by my height. I know that there are those out there that don’t care about my weight (which is actually normal for 5’9”), but there are multitudes that would rather not weigh less than their dating partner.

To be honest, though, I’ve come to accept my body, even though it took a few years. I finally like who I am – curves, height and all. I’m not afraid to wear high heels and I’ve come to tolerate my hips. I don’t know where it came from, but I started realizing my self-esteem depended on me and what I liked about myself, not what others liked about me. I became more confident, comfortable, and content with not only me but Asian men (short or tall) in general.

So, how does this help anyone else?

Bruce Lee (played by James Patrick Lee) was only 5 foot 7 inches

Bruce Lee (played by Jason Scott Lee) was only 5 foot 7 inches

A common complaint I hear is height, or the lack thereof. Being kind of tall myself, I can appreciate it when a girl wants a taller man. I’ve given it a lot of thought over the years and decided it’s because:

The feeling of being protected and totally enveloped by a man’s embrace is wonderfully soothing.

For whatever reason, that has come to be associated with height, and thus, girls vocalize that desire and attraction by looking for men taller than them.

It could be just me, but I think how tall a person is has little to do with their height and more to do with how they carry themselves.

Take, for example, my first Asian boyfriend who was short. At 5’5” (and remember JT Tran, your Asian Dating Coach is a “mere” 5 foot 5 inches too!), I was taller than him by four inches (Jocelyn from Speaking of China had 3 inches on her husband), and I’m sure we got stares for that difference. It was a rare occurrence for me to think of him as shorter, however, because he made his presence known.

He had perfect posture, high self-esteem, and amazing confidence. In other words, confident and attractive male Asian body language! My memories of him reflect this; I even remember him either at eye-level or taller. I doubt he fully understood how he came across to me or how attracted I was to him, but height is and never will be an issue for him.

Another short Asian man I recently dated made it clear early on that he would never tell me his weight. I knew I weighed more than him, and he had a somewhat petite build, but his short Asian stature, or the way he carried himself, actually made me feel smaller than him.

Even looking at pictures where we’re standing side by side, a short Asian man with a tall white woman, he looks bigger than me.

He even appears taller than me, and I had at least an inch on him. I wasn’t slouching or sucking in – he just had that confidence about himself, knowing that how his body was and how he felt about it shouldn’t have any impact on how he felt about mine.

That made me more comfortable and attracted just being with him; I didn’t have to worry about him thinking things like “she has bigger legs than me,” or “I wear smaller pants than she does.” I knew that it didn’t matter to him, which made me like him so much more.

James Kyson Lee is 5 foot 10 inches

James Kyson Lee is 5 foot 10 inches

I understand that everyone has their type.

It’s entirely possible some Asian men only like white women who are shorter than them, or with small hips and a boyish figure. Maybe there are those out there that don’t have a real preference, but see a taller or bigger-build girl and think that they’re unapproachable due to body issues on both ends.

My advice to that is simple: Stop this unnecessary comparison.

Eliminate this insecurity from the mind. Confidence can help a girl see past a potential height difference, but even if she doesn’t, all that’s lost is few minutes wasted on someone not worth the time.

{ 91 comments… read them below or add one }

Puffysheep February 5, 2011 at 5:48 am

It’s true that we all have to come to terms with our own body. I am a Korean American who is 5′ 9″ and 154 lbs. I wish I was couple inches taller but God is fair right? Instead of few more inches of height, he gave me good looks. (Just kidding… ^_^”) Anyways, in my case I wouldn’t usually go for a girl who is taller because she reminds me of an authoritative figure. For example, in my adolescence women who were taller were all authoritative figures like mothers or teachers. Even as an adult, it feels unnatural to date a taller woman because I have those subconscious minds playing tricks on me. But who knows, things like height won’t matter when that special person comes along… =)


Heather February 7, 2011 at 7:17 am

I’m not one to argue on what your type is, seeing as how explicit I am with mine. I guess what I’m trying to get at is if you do find an attractive woman and she is taller than you, don’t think of it as an issue. If you have that in mind as you talk to her, she might sense your uneasiness…and you’ll feel pretty uncomfortable yourself. Think of it this way – a lot of cute, tall girls are missing out on the chance to get to know you!


Rock February 6, 2011 at 4:24 am

I was at ikea the other day and saw a rather inspirational couple. This one asian guy I saw had to be about 5’5″ or 5’6″ and his white girlfriend was about 5’9″ maybe 5’10”. I saw them holding hands but I didn’t want to stare for too long because I don’t want them catching me and getting the wrong idea. I’ve been told it’s awkward to see the woman taller than the man in a relationship, but when I saw the two, I didn’t see any awkwardness. I felt relieved and more comfortable with myself. At times I do wish I were a little taller but I’ve grown comfortable being 5’8″ 145 lbs. and what that couple and you taught me is that height is not a concern as long as you don’t let it be.


Heather February 7, 2011 at 7:26 am

I look at it this way – I can sit here and worry about whether or not it’s going to be awkward or uncomfortable…or I can just take a chance at something that may be very satisfying in the the long run. I once asked an ex if he was uncomfortable with me wearing high heels, and he said he preferred it because then it was as if he was going out with a model. In the very least, you can think of it like that…I’m sure they date men shorter than them all the time!


Kevin. Y February 7, 2011 at 5:23 am

I am Chinese, I am 5’11 1/2, or 6 ft and 194lbs. Height is still my problem of approaching women, not just white but asian, black and hispanic as well.

The other thing is, I am not sure if white females even like asian facial feature.


Heather February 7, 2011 at 7:33 am

You can always worry about whether or not you’re going to be good enough for someone else, but there’s one thing you have to remember – you’re not a mind reader. You don’t know what that girl is thinking…she may not care about height or maybe she does like your facial features, and that’s not even the most important part of approaching women! You just never know, so you should assert more confidence and stop this unnecessary comparison.


Rock February 9, 2011 at 4:17 am

I really needed to hear that. Thank you.


Heather February 10, 2011 at 12:29 am

Sometimes you get so wrapped up in what you think is a flaw…and to others, people might not even see it that way…I’ve been there. I understand!


ttk February 11, 2011 at 4:37 am

Your 5’11 1/2? Really? But that is pretty tall though! I am very close to that too.


handsomeasiandude February 7, 2011 at 7:19 am

Good article, glad to hear tall women like yourself don’t necessarily care about height. I was wondering, who is James Patrick Lee as Bruce Lee in that one photo in Dragon Bruce Lee movie? Do you mean Jason Scott Lee as Bruce Lee?


Heather February 7, 2011 at 8:02 am

Aha, thanks for catching that. I most certainly did mean Jason Scott Lee.


Taipeiracer February 7, 2011 at 7:35 am

I’m not feeling the vibe of this article, including the pics. Let me explain.

First of all, that Masi Oka guy isn’t attractive by Asian standards. He looks like a little boy. In Asia not many women would go for this type. Why is he used as our “rep” here?

Secondly, about that muscle guy (James Lee)…I think if you’re looking for that you’re better off going for a black guy, or certain white guys. There’s a tendency to measure an Asian person using an American (I wouldn’t even say western) yardstick. IMHO that’s misdirected. If you’ve followed any Asian dramas at all, the good looking guys are not about muscles at all.

Third, the message of this article is that Asian guys are short. In reality the range of height has plenty of overlap with white men. The average height of white women is 5’5″ (at 30 years old). If you’re 5’7″ or above I doubt height would be a major issue. Plenty of Asian guys are at least 5’7″.


Heather February 7, 2011 at 8:00 am

I’ll gladly address all of these concerns.

Firstly, you’re right. He’s not really attractive by many people’s standards. However, he is an Asian actor that people can recognize and so he was used.

Secondly, some women like Asian men and like them muscular. I’ve dated the “Drama” kind and I’ve dated the “All-American” kind and I’ve liked them both for their respective body types. They were attractive in their own way. Lean on an Asian guy is incredibly sexy, I’m not going to lie (Miyavi was my first love and he’s a skinny guy), but muscles can also turn a girl on – and that’s not something restricted to Black and White men.

Lastly, the title of this article is called “Are TALL White women attracted to SHORT Asian men?” This is not talking about all Asian guys in general, just those that feel short. That is a relative feeling, as there is no real definition of what short is (for example, 5’7″ may be considered short by those that are 6’2″, but not to those that are 5’2″). A man may feel short even at 5’10”. It’s all how he perceives himself. I myself feel like a giant at 5’9″ and have had many Asian men tell me I’m too tall for them – even if they were my height or taller. I have never had a boyfriend taller than me and that is why I chose to write on this topic: we never let height become a dividing factor.


Taipeiracer February 8, 2011 at 5:51 am

I appreciate the response, and applaud you for navigating a tricky topic!


Heather February 10, 2011 at 12:28 am

I appreciate the comments – I love it when people write back!


handsomeasianguy February 7, 2011 at 8:06 am

I understood the article, the message of the article is about negative perceptions of asian men being short and how height shouldn’t matter but rather your personality, charisma, etc is more interesting. Masi Oka photo with Hayden is ok, it shows diversity (not all asian men are expert martial artists).


Shiloh Heckman April 12, 2011 at 11:29 am

This site is about Asian men with white women so Asian standards don’t really count for much. I think that Masi Oka guy is adorable.. I’d totally go for that.. sure maybe looks young but with age he will retain that youthful look. Also… alot of white chicks like men who have a little width to them… so of course they’d like a muscular Asian, even if in Asia leaner guys are more attractive.

I think because white women are more likely to be curvier/heavier so they don’t want to feel like they’re going to break their boyfriend lol… I’m pretty much an average build with a little more than average in the hips, butt, and thighs XD.. I feel very awkward dating a scrawny man.


Kanata17th May 31, 2012 at 11:17 pm

fukken taiwans, we will crushhh u and ur usa master


memyselfi February 8, 2011 at 5:23 pm

I had a year long relationship with an Asian (Japanese) guy who was 3-4 inches shorter than me. I, like the author, a, 5’9″ and have large hips, and I must say that I applaud the author for reconciling her attraction to short Asian men. I was never attracted to my ex the way I wanted to be. I grew to be attracted to him, as people do when they fall in love with someone, but I always yearned for him to be taller than me. When we would lay in bed and cuddle, I made him prop himself further to the wall than I was, so it felt like he was taller than me. We broke up for other, very good reasons, and I would have eventually married the man regardless of his height, but now I look for guys taller than me. It’s just not an ambivalence I want to experience again.


Anonymous February 10, 2011 at 9:31 pm

At first, I was like that. I really wanted him to be taller than me, to weigh more than me, for my hips to be smaller…and then I realized – it’s not going to happen. He won’t grow, I won’t shrink, and that’s that. I decided that the physical attraction was there for both of us and so I stopped being so concerned about it. Eventually he became my boyfriend (and the longest one, at that) and we rarely had issues.

It’s not for everyone because everyone is attracted to their own thing – I’m so not one to judge. Obviously you were able to see past your concerns enough to have the desire to marry him, so it wasn’t a dividing factor between you two. I have to commend you for that – I think it’s something not every woman can do!


memyselfi February 11, 2011 at 5:12 pm

Thanks! I definitely noticed some stares, but I enjoy being different, and thus part of a different looking couple, haha. Great article! =)


Kanata17th May 31, 2012 at 11:15 pm

most of us are not attract to white giants either, todays world is survival of the smartest


Frank February 9, 2011 at 2:18 am

Good article and an important one.

How you carry yourself has a lot to do with your perception. there have been studies showing that people in higher class occupations were perceived to be taller than people of the same measured height from lower class occupations. It has a lot more to do with the projection people have in their minds about you.

Obviously you’ll never be thought of as 6-4 if you’re 5-6, but if you can get yourself to carry yourself physically well paired with confidence, no matter what that confidence is based off of people won’t focus on your physical stature and more on how you carry your home.

I won’t lie, i’m 5-8 and it’s a little discouraging to have to look up to look a beautiful woman in the eye. Lack of height is an obstacle, but it can also be seen as an opportunity to do other things to improve yourself to allow women to see more personality.

Physically do whatever you want really. Heather already said that women can like any body type, so i imagine just about anything works as long as you don’t let yourself get bloated and sloppy.


Anonymous February 10, 2011 at 9:19 pm

Interesting studies! I’d love to check them out sometime. I’ll agree to that, too – as I said, I remember my 5’5″ ex being taller than he really was. Confidence really is key!

I used to get very discouraged myself when I initially started dating shorter men. I was always lead to believe height was so important, and, being 5’9″ myself, I already felt like a giant among mortals. Where some of the shorter men lacked height, they made up for it in personality and character – not saying tall men don’t have this but they really let it shine through.

Asian men have interesting options available to them – there’s the “drama” body type of lean and skinny or the “buff” type with more muscle and build, just to name two. Personally, I think the lean type is something Asian men pull off really well, but it’s best to be happy and comfortable with your own body rather than to worry about what other women will go for.


Frank February 12, 2011 at 3:10 am

well now that i’ve said it i can’t find the studies…. i’ll let you know when i do lol. but you are right aobut the body type part as well, since most of us asian men aren’t expected to grace the cover of muscle mag anyway it really takes pressure off to look physically imposing. lean type feels better for both parties anyway, imo lol.


Shiloh Heckman April 12, 2011 at 11:23 am

5’6″ is considered average for males


Sales Associate February 11, 2011 at 12:03 am

It seems to me that most men don’t want a woman taller than them, regardless of race.
That being said, my Vietnamese boyfriend is 5’4″ and I’m 5’3″. And he hates when I put heels on because I’m taller than he is (though the heels aren’t that high).
I wish I had more personal experiences with the other races, but all of my non-Asian boyfriends have been taller than me, since I’m so small.


Holly February 12, 2011 at 6:30 am

I actually am 5′ 7″…. and I only liked 2 asian guys whom were shorter than me, the others have been a little bit taller. But, height sometimes matters to me. ^_^ I like the feeling of protection, I guess.


Interested Observer February 16, 2011 at 3:27 am

I read with interest this post by you and the comments from people that were posted after it. I just would like to add my observation and say that although one poster said that, according to her research, that the rarest type of couple was when a wife was taller than her husband, that, in my observation, that that exact type of couple is actually happening more and more often in America.

I live in a suburban area in a state located in the American Northeast, and when I go to the mall, I see more and more shorter man-taller woman relationships and couples more and more often year by year. It is actually increasing, and it is semi-routine now in the malls near where I live (they are located near New York City), to see shorter men dating taller women and also shorter man-taller woman couples. In fact, regarding Asian Male-Woman of Another Race couples themselves, I have seen 3 shorter Asian Man and taller White/Latin Women couples in my local area Shop Rite alone, (a supermarket chain we have here in the Northeast). And that is not even counting the Asian Man-Woman of Another Race Couples that I have seen where the male is around the same height as the female, more or less.a little taller or shorter. Those Asian Man-Woman of Another Race couples are also increasing.

But what I am talking about are couples where the Asian Man is significantly shorter than the Woman of the Other Race that he is with. I personally have also seen in my lifetime with my own eyes at least 5 Asian Man-White/Latina Woman couples out there where the male is significantly shorter than his wife. Now I am not talking about 1, or even 2 or 3 inches. I am talking about 6 inches or more! I personally even know a Chinese Man/White Woman couple in which the Chinese Man husband is 5 foot 5 inches and his White Woman wife is 6 foot 2 inches! The Chinese Man husband used to be a youth minister at the Chinese church that I go to. I even personally attended their wedding at that very same church. Eventually, he and his wife left that church and moved away and he is now Pastor of a large church in Philadelphia. What self-confidence my friend had to approach a woman who was that tall and beautiful, (and she was a UPenn Volleyball player as well), and to risk being shot down by her, but to take his chances, and to give it his all, and indeed it paid off for him. She is now married to him and they have several beautiful young children together.

When I went to the Lake Taupo hot springs in Auckland, New Zealand a couple of years ago on vacation once and stayed at a hotel right next to the lake, I also saw a much shorter Asian Man-taller Latina Woman couple from Brazil. The Asian Man was much shorter than the Latina Woman and the Latina Woman much taller than the Asian Man. I would estimate his height at about 5 foot 4 inches and her height at around 5 foot 10 inches. The reason how I know they were from Brazil is because they got in line to buy tickets to the enclosed indoor pools fed by the hot springs at night. I was in the same line, and was the only other one there besides the ticket booth operator, an elderly women with short white curly hair. As soon as we saw them, we just both stood there staring with them with our mouths hanging open. We were both in shock and when they bought their tickets, she deliberately made a point to ask them where they were from, because the the height difference was so great. The Asian Man said they were from Brazil. I will never forget seeing that couple for the rest of my life. The Latina woman was tall and pretty. Her face looked like a model (!). They ordered a private jacuzzi together in one of the private rooms (!!). What self-confidence and guts that Asian Man must have had in approaching such a tall, pretty woman. That was a real Asian Man and someone who I aspire to become like.

I think that it is great that more and more men and women are falling in love, finding their life mate, and finding true love as you said in your blog post by looking at who the person is on the inside and not the outside and not letting a little height, race, or physical appearance, in general stop them from finding happiness. These relationships fulfill more of the idea of “true love” than many same race relationships.

I am glad that there are women out there who still believe in idealism and true love and are deeper people and believe that the measure of a man and his worth lie not in in how tall he is or what race he is or how strong his physical body is, but rather in his character, virtues, nobility, heart, and spirit. It is refreshing to hear that kind of thinking from a woman and to know that there are still women out there who are like this and who still believe in the ideal of true love and of what love really is and who still follow the older traditional way of looking at things of what makes a person attractive and who still hold in their hearts the fairytale way of finding true happiness.

And, I might add, it extends to more than just men, it also extends to women just as much, regardless of how short or tall or what her weight is or whatnot she is as well. That kind of thinking keeps you young and strong, hopeful, healthy, and happy, believing that men and women are worth more than just their height and their weight, and their physical appearance period, and that it is the inside of a person that counts the most and makes them attractive and not their outside. And that you can still find true love with a person regardless of what their physical appearance looks like and regardless of what your physical appearance looks like also.

In fact, a good strategy for men that are shorter or slimmer in the body to attract women, is that they should overcompensate for it and make up for whatever they lack on the outside on the inside instead in terms of spirit, character, virtues, personality, charisma, heart, braver, more courageous, stronger, being more romantic, being a more loving partner, being a better provider, better husband, better father, more reliable, having a sense of humor, more self-confident etc, and every other good thing out there period,

I don’t like the word “confidence”, I like to use the word “SELF-CONFIDENCE” better. I think that it is good to be self-confident, but not good to be cocky. If you overcompensate on the inside for what you lack on the outside; if that’s the case, and you are “all that” so to speak, there are women out there who will look past a man’s outside at their inside and who consider a man’s inside, so to speak, first above anything else, including their outside. They will look past a man’s body at their character, virtues, personality, self-confidence, sense of humor, ability to hold an interesing conversation etc, etc, and if you are great on the inside, then you will attract these women and you can you still find a wonderful mate regardless of who you might be or what you look like on the outside. And Asian Men should have this belief and know that this is true. Fortune favors the brave, as they say, and for the man who has courage, anything is possible.

Cheers, best wishes to you, and thank you for writing your post. It is much appreciated to have a women’s point of view, and to have a woman give good–and truthful as well, advice on issues that affect men and women in how to overcome obstacles, diificulties, and misunderstandings in order to get together and achieving a beautiful and lasting happiness. No guts no glory, as they say.


Hyun March 16, 2011 at 5:50 pm

wait wats going on why are these people changing their names to my name and posting stuff with my name and writing style????????


Simonyang357 March 15, 2011 at 3:13 am

i dunno… im 5’9′ so every women in the world loves…… me. sike!.. but i am really 5’9′


Hyun March 16, 2011 at 1:08 am

Do Latina girls counts as white girls? i dated a latina girl that was like a half an inch taller than me. I was always amused as to HOW IN THE WORLD IS SHE ATTRACTED TO ME?? because it is EVOLUTIONARILY DISADVANTAGEOUS FOR A WOMEN TO MATE WITH A SMALLER MALE. Hence…. by sexual selection process over thousands of years, men became in average taller then women….. Anyway i think you have a point Heather, being confident is very important. i think it was my confidence that was so attractive that she overlooked my height.


Anonymous March 16, 2011 at 9:00 am

heather, you’re so awesome.


Hyun March 16, 2011 at 12:15 pm

People had better watch out not to be discouraged from starting a relationship with other races of women from some of the comments on some of these boards. Don’t let them discourage you from doing what you want. It is pretty obvious that some of these comments are cleverly disguised attempts to break up Asian Men and other races of women. There are a lot of men of other races who try to break up Asian Men and other races of women who disguise themselves under false screennames. I think that there are even some racist White Guys in my neighborhood who found out that I visit this board and post here to try to break up Asian Men and White Women because my neighborhood is very racist. Just take what you read with a grain of salt, and WORK OFFLINE, and avoid confrontation with the people who try to stop you and be discreet. With what you read, WITH BOTH MEN AND WOMEN, just TAKE THE GOOD AND LEAVE OUT THE BAD. You don’t have to listen to people telling you to do stuff that isn’t wrong. And please know that not everyone on the Internet is who they seem.


Hyun March 16, 2011 at 5:42 pm

ur very strange…. using my writing style and my name to post stuff…..


Hyun March 16, 2011 at 1:16 pm

I think there’s nothing wrong with an Asian Guy chasing after and getting a taller woman anyway. I find that on the Internet only LEARNING FROM THE GOOD STUFF PEOPLE SAY OR DO AND DISCARDING ANY OF THE BAD STUFF THAT YOU READ OR SEE IS THE BEST WAY. BESIDES, EVERYONE KNOWS THAT TALKING ON THE INTERNET WILL NOT GET YOU A WOMAN, ONLY GOING OUT THERE ON THE STREET AND TAKING THE ACTIONS TO GET HER WILL WORK. Everyone’s else’s words and actions on the Internet should be taken with a grain of salt and considered carefully as to whether it benefits the Good or not, and then if it is you should follow them, and if it does not then you should not follow them. These words and actions include my own. People should not have to obey any ranking.


Hyun March 16, 2011 at 5:37 pm

WTF why are these people using my name to post stuff. do you have that little self esteem???? this is the strangest thing i encountered online -___-


Anonymous March 17, 2011 at 11:16 am

Haha two Hyuns! 😮


Hyun March 21, 2011 at 8:12 am

Interesting. I’m about 5’8″ and I love tall, wide hipped, big booty, thick and juicy white women.


Melanie Mumea March 23, 2011 at 6:53 am

Although i am shorter than my Asian man (I’m only 5’0) I am happy to report that I am very curvy with an hourglass figure. great weight but curves for miles. So far the Asians I’ve dated were into it (or they said they were lol). Anyway, to me a woman being taller than a man is no different than a man being older than a woman etc. Differences are difference and I like seeing all types of people together. If race isn’t an issue with them, they shouldn’t stop at height. Rock those heels Heather and be that confident you because you are definitely right when you say the way you carry yourself makes you, not your height or your hips 🙂


Kurenaichou88 March 31, 2011 at 9:32 am

I am 5’8, he is 5’6. I am taller by 2 inches and couldn’t be happier. Sure at first I would walk one step behind him in public to appear shorter and hang my head slightly lower, but I didn’t feel happy that way and it was just totally and completely not needed! I walk hand in hand with him now and it almost never cross’ my mind. We don’t pay attention to that now and we are better off. I know if we are insecure about this then everyone notices. I admit I do prefer a guy that is taller, for the reason of that protection feeling, but my asian BF stands tall with his personality. His confident, loving personality is more than enough and it’s so hot to me… <3 Thank you for this article!


Kanata17th May 31, 2012 at 11:11 pm

fukkkk white men and women are so naive thinking height is what keeps them safe. if thats the case the africans would be supreme conquers


jennie April 2, 2011 at 8:14 pm

I’m white, love Asian guys. I’m 4’11” and ALL the Asian guys I’ve dated have been taller than me!


Sarah June 4, 2011 at 1:35 am

ANYONE would be taller than you.


Shiloh Heckman April 12, 2011 at 11:20 am

I have to admit I’m guilty of preferring a man who is taller than me.. but I’m only like.. 5 feet tall even, so if a guy is shorter than me, he’s probably like.. 12 years old Xb
But my guy is only 5 feet 4 inches and that’s fine by me! I don’t like guys that are like.. massively taller than me.. it feels a little intimidating.


Kanata17th May 31, 2012 at 11:09 pm

the jews, the most intelligent whites, we cannot uder-estimate these ppl


Madebelieve April 17, 2011 at 10:28 pm

Interesting, I’m 6ft, and got abs and chest, but when it comes to interracial dating, my confidence got complete understated. I experienced some sort of anxiety.


Dustin Bentley April 28, 2011 at 2:37 pm

I heard a saying about love that says, ‘height doesn’t matter’… Well yeah, it doesn’t really matter. All that matters is your love for each other. Height is no big deal.


chingchangchong April 29, 2011 at 3:42 am

Lol, asians are delusional…


muugii April 30, 2011 at 8:51 am

what about mongolians :). The only thing i hate is when white or watever, they always say im chinese, so what i think is they should always ask. just because being asian doesnt mean we are all asian. But no one can tell where i am from.


Kanata17th May 31, 2012 at 11:08 pm

mongols is a thing of the past, the chinese and vietnamese now carry on the asian role, all others are dogs soon to be on the frontline


Lil Jay Chou May 2, 2011 at 1:40 am

I’m only 5’8 but most girls I’ve met are shorter than me so it’s alll good.
And it’s unfair to cite Bruce Lee because he is god.


Tel-me June 10, 2011 at 6:09 am

My mom when she was in a divorce with my dad found a boyfriend Chinese, which was also the son of her boss and her boss. He is less of it. That was last year before my birthday. I had back on 17 years, Mom had a 40th years, and her boyfriend Chao 32nd year. Her height is 177cm weight 60kg, and its about 170cm Weight 70kg. My dad had the 44th years and his height is 185cm and weighs 75kg. You would say that this does not make sense. But to look beyond … The reason for their agreement I think it was just better sex! In fact my dad works in Vienna, and we are living in Serbia. When he came home my brother and I put them mobile phones in the bedroom and shoot them while making love. To later watch and laugh. I think this is not something, it lies motionless as dead without a vote, he was like a rabbit. Whereas when I grabbed it with Chao, so I learned that from him, she moans, screams, scratches, sighs … While he is tough and can take a long … There are even longer cock of dad. Dad is 16cm and 20cm Chao, which breaks the myth that all Asians have small penises. Her friend said that it is a combination of the zodiac, who knows. Mom’s twin, father Aquarius, and Chao-shooter. She agrees with my dad in friendship, and the Chao in bed … It is the harmony and disharmony energy … Mom’s and then became pregnant with him, because they did not use protection. She later married and starting this year we moved to Canada. She wears my sister and future needs for a day to give birth …


jc June 18, 2011 at 4:35 am

As a 6′-6’1 Asian male, I can firmly say I love girls that are taller. 5’9 is probably my cutoff point but I do like being able to look at a girl and not have to lower my head. Also, I just find it more sexy and love long legs.


feelsgoodman! June 21, 2011 at 7:56 am

Okay Heather, from the get go, when I read 5’9, I was ecstatic. I’m a 6’2 asian guy, and I love tall women. Personally, I find it that much more attractive. I’m glad you’ve come to terms with your height. Besides, now you’re more likely to attract taller Asian men 🙂

Honestly though, I have yet to meet a white girl who likes Asian males – unfortunately. So this website is very foreign to me. hahaha 


MarkyPants June 22, 2011 at 3:26 pm

Amy is a 6′ tall white girl with shorter Asian BF…


Andy June 23, 2011 at 5:39 pm

Great article.

I can understand that human society and media can affect people in a way so they prefer/ or think they prefer only someone taller or shorter than themselves.
Myself, being an asian male of 5’5 (170 lbs) i’ve never had a problem with dating white women. Short or tall.

Recent girl I was dating were 5’7 and before that 5’6. I do not care if you’re taller or weigh more than me.

I agree that it’s also about how one carry themselves… Most people, female or male for that matter, thinks i’m lying when I say i’m 5’5. Most people tend to guess me to be around 5’7 (and I only wear flat shoes) so I think it’s how I walk/carry myself.

Keep posting.


Wpt2490 July 12, 2011 at 2:51 am

Totally relate to this article. I’m 5’4 Asian guy and height has always been a hang up for me regarding dating/confidence with women. I feel like height is more of an issue for me when dealing with white women because they’re taller than Asian women in general. Just feel like there is more of a disconnect, anyways, just got to live with it and move on. By the way, I’m not trying to hit on you, but I think you’re really cute Heather. Keep up the posts.


Jo July 14, 2011 at 4:59 pm

Tear up all the white bitches


tundra spectre July 21, 2011 at 10:56 pm

Well said there. I’d also like to say that even if you are a male who is shorter and lighter than the woman, it shouldn’t be an issue if you are reasonably fit and capable of bench pressing more than her body weight. Yes I know I’m sounding like a meat-head LOL. I mean, if you don’t have the height and stature, at least you still have the strength to make up for it, that’s should be enough to make the girl feel protected  😉


Thlasdf August 12, 2011 at 11:17 pm

Short Asian guy here! Can’t agree more with the height issue. Most of the women that I’ve dated are taller than me (including a white blonde). I’ve asked several of my guy friends and it seems some guys are intimidated by taller women. Well, their lost. I figure if she doesn’t mind, than I don’t neither. Sides, you miss every shot you don’t take fellas!


Macchan September 9, 2011 at 1:57 am

I’m 5’10” and curvy *cough*giant breasts*cough*, which is something I was always embarrassed about. Dating a guy shorter than me never bothered me, though. Maybe because my mom is way shorter than me, I didn’t have a father figure and most people I meet are shorter/same height as me, I never associated tallness with the protected/secure feeling? I think the shortest guy I dated was like 5’3″? Maybe 5’2″, I forget. lol But, he was really confident and fun… Until he turned into a creepy stalker when I broke up with him… >.>

But yeah, most of the guys I’ve dated have been shorter than me. x) I don’t see why people make it such a big deal, it’s like grow some balls and stop being so insecure. If you like someone, you shouldn’t care!


Kanata17th May 31, 2012 at 11:04 pm

we dont need to be tall, we must be smarter to conquer the hairy cavemens


Renae September 18, 2011 at 1:16 pm

Short stature is not an issue for me at all! I am a 5’6 WW.
My HS boyfriend was 5’5.
My ex-hubby is 5’9.
My current AM boytoy is 5’7.
All AM.
I dated a white guy who is 6’2 and found kissing awkward.
Kissing a man who stands face to face with me is the best! 🙂


Notreal October 18, 2011 at 6:11 am

As a Chinese guy I feel trampled upon by the media rather unjustly,particularly American, which seem to like to portray Oriental men as effeminate, over studious and physically weak.

I am only 5 foot 6 but I don’t really feel small (unless people are standing up right next to me). I guess that is because I have great genetics and a nice body. This modern Western media driven society loves its own characteristics. Height and bulk. But a lot of tall white men, no offence……. when they take off their shirts and once they are past say their thirities have relatively unattractive bodies and skin.So it’s  all swings and roundabouts. Their tallness means that their body can’t maintain itself as efficienctly in strutural terms perhaps. Because I am a short arse, many tall women are not attracted to me when I am in my clothes. But when they see my physique, this equalises things a little. Just a little.

I am very attracted to tall women. The legs are amazing.  I used to think that beautiful caucasian women say over 5 foot 10 would not be attracted to me but I was very very wrong. One six footer tried to jump me. Another asked me to take her out.  These women were model types. i also had a beautiful white girlfriend about 2 inches taller than me.The reality is though that these were 3 out of 1000 women that I was attracted to. 997 women are not attracted to me and I feel that they prejudge me,even before I have opened my mouth. It’s like you talk to them (not even to chat them up) and all you get back is “i need to talk to someone”. To be honest, when you are not even trying to chat someone up, and they have already shut you down – it’s painful. Not over 4 years, But over 20 years. 30 years. You are disenfranchiesed. You are not a man.

I personally think that I am an attractive guy. But I feel that the American media seems to like to torture Chinese males. It says “You are worthless, but we love to shag your women . They are not attracted to you because you are not fully men”. In the sexual politics game, I feel that Chinese males are at the bottom of the Western organised heap. But as China asserts itself as a nation and Western media tries to solicit money from orientals, there will be more realistic images of Chinese men as normal men, not “penisless” (for “penniless”) hahahaha! get the pun?) as Seth Rogan suggested in Green Hornet. There is a four letter Scouse word which rhymes with “cat”. He wrote that film and I would like to knock him out.


Notreal October 19, 2011 at 12:59 am

Actually, I forgot to mention a few more escapades, with beautiful white women. I am not a “playa” at all. I am actually indecently shy ……erm it’s hard to say this but I am quite religious so I can’t get up (tee hee) to much if you see what I mean. Nudge nudge wink wink. I forgot to mention that I was used to go out with a girl much younger than me for a couple of years and she recently got thru to a city wide beauty contest (she has a different boyfriend now). Not sure if she comes into this thread as she is just a shade shorter than me (as opposed to being taller than me). How did we go out? We were watching a dance instruction video and I was so bored, I grabbed her and snogged her.

I also had a bit of a fling with a woman who used to be a top glamour (ie top off) and fashion model. That was bad. We got pee-ed on some wine and were chatting and suddenly ended up kissing and doing naughty things. She wanted to like y’know (cough splutter) and was screaming for it but i was not up (tee hee gaffaw) for it (well I was and I wasn’t if y’see what I mean). I found a good way of stopping her raping me was by continually hugging her close – it was a bit like MMA really.

I had a long long fling with someone else who once trained to in catwalk but she wasn’t actually white. She was of South East Asian origin, so I guess she doesn’t count. She was really good looking but a bit of a nut case really. Kind of bunny boiler and so I was spared.

One of my favourite girlfriends was one of the three above ie 1000 – 3 = 997…..that one. She was 5 foot 8 and yes, a bit younger than me. I originally thought that she was blonde, but it turns out that she coloured her hair. I remember one night we were walking back from a semi-formal dinner in Notting Hill Gate (I think I was in my dinner suit) I beleive and some woman in a kind of whiny American voice yelled “You guys look great”. Well, we did split up and she ended up marrying a half Chinese guy. I like to think that I left her with a half decent impression of Chinese people. She had a lovely cuddly body and legs right up to her armpits. She was like a tall version of Marianne Faithful……and I was a bit of a Mick Jagger. Well, I did play guitar a lot.

Most recently I had a snog with someone I didn#t actually know. It was not planned. We were in her room and I suddenly pulled her to me and snogged her. Then I picked her up physically and chucked her on the bed and jumped on top of her. Thank goodness she was alright about it. I could have been done for assault or something. She wasn’t taller than me, but she was white. Really nice person. She was a blonde and fit as a butcher’s dog. It was a really enjoyable experience.

I have never actually had a Chinese girlfriend. I have had white girlfriends and snogged white, black and Asian females. I really enjoy a good snog and a  cuddle – especially to music.


Kanata17th May 31, 2012 at 11:02 pm

we must gather the tribes and bring war to america, the vietnamese can lead the way, having most experienced in dealing with the hairy cavemen


JW October 31, 2011 at 1:37 am

I’m afraid to say that this article (and much of following comments) implicitly perpetuates the stereotype of short-statured Asian men, probably a bit unfair as it glosses over the fact that tall Asians do exist.

 I realise that the gist of the article is that confidence and persona can completely override the height issue.

 I’m 5′ 11″ and of Chinese descent. No, I don’t consider myself abnormally tall for my race. in fact I’m only a few centimetres taller than my immediate family (and on par with my brother).

 Being raised in Australia; the diet, sports and lifestyle all play a part. I’d suppose the same would be true of many (if not most) Asians raised in the West.

 I will concede that confidence is the underlying pièce de résistance insofar as getting with a White girl. I can say for certain that were my confidence to match or exceed my height I’d be on an even playing field with my Caucasian peers (as is evidenced by my similarly tall and confident Asian ones).


Notrealemail November 6, 2011 at 1:41 am


I don’t think it is fair to say that because the article offers much needed support to short Asian males, that it perpetuates the “stereotype” at all. Rather, the target of your ire should be the outlets that dominate American media. In order to perpetuate a myth, you need a hearer of that myth. If this website was read by millions of white people. then you might have a point. The reality is that the target audience for this site is Asian males, and therefore unlikely to be accessed by a large number of whites (the said audience to whom the myth could be perpetuated in a damaging way)..

The Asian male is already at a disadvantage in the sexual marketplace. Within that group (Asian male) there is a proportionally large (as compared to other racial groups) number of males that are smaller than you (“bully for you”) and doubly disadvantaged. This article explores that theme and hopefully the keen reader will be able to glean tips on how to make himself more marketable in the sexual stakes. . I am one of those doubly disadvantaged males and in some limited fashion, I have overcome a small proportion of the hurdles before me.  I therefore find the advice contained herein to be helpful, both tactically and in terms of general encouragement.

Perhaps, you feel that you have no need of the help offered within these pages, by reason of your height. Nevertheless, there are those of us who are not as fortunate as you and remain of inferior stature. For us, this website is incredibly encouraging.


Notrealemail November 6, 2011 at 1:58 am

Just to encourage you Asian chaps that want to find a Caucasian female, I would like to share a couple of matters with you.

I have a Chinese friend who is about 5 11. He is an extremely handsome Korean pop star type. Went to private school. Very well spoken and quite Anglicsed as opposed to Chinese. Recently I met his then girlfriend. This girl was about 6 foot 1 in heels and absolutely staggeringly stunning. Like a top supermodel. Very very very pretty with incredibly long perfects. In other words, she was quite attractive. It happens.

I also met with a friend of mine recently. A very attractive woman in her forties – a bit like an attractive soap actress. She has a daughter who is absolutely gorgeous. Slim, with beautiful cheek bones. In short, a younger version of her gorgeous mother. There has always been a bit of a frisson between me and the mum. I must admit that we were dancing rather close the other day and I got so excited that I almost grabbed her and snogged her. Well, some time ago, she told me that her daughter jjad been going out with a Chinese guy and she was very pleased. Apparently he was a very nice lad. When I met (the mother) the other day, she said that the young couple were still together. Believe me, her daughter could make it as a model. She is probably one of the best looking girls in the town.

So, my young brethren, what is the upshot? Go for those unnattainable women.. Show the grace of your culture and don’t compromise on being a gentleman.


Yh0016 November 26, 2011 at 7:43 pm

the article sounds and smell good. Any one with a discerned eye would figure that what you said is too good to be true. A short girl wants a tall cute guy. A taller girl wants a taller cute guy who has a lot to offer. The short guys need to jerk it off at home. Nice article tho (i read half of it and think it too commercial)


Yh0016 November 26, 2011 at 7:48 pm

Those asians who believe what you wrote belong to 2 kinds: either he is too young to understand what a white woman wants or he is too old that he can only dream about it.


Oegukeen January 6, 2012 at 12:05 pm

I am 6 feet (183 cm) white female. I am confident about my height and I am in serious relationship with an Asian guy who is shorter than me. He is handsome, smart, funny and the kindest person I know. He shows me he cares about me every day, he makes me happy when I am sad and he is very hard working. I don’t want to be rude, but I really have to say this: Anyone who would pass a guy like that because his bones are not as long as theirs is plain stupid.

I want to change the wrong perceptions about non-Asians dating Asians so I started a blog


IamMe January 26, 2012 at 7:35 am

Hmm..Asian lover hah?…I get that…some people go nuts over Kim-Chi..LOL
For me I’ve always liked …damn, I’ve always liked every girls..haha

But I gotta make a complaint!
How come, everything I read on this website says that “Asian blokes are well educated, they’re stable” and something like that.
I’m Asian and I’ve only graduated high school. Got the mistery mark which is below 30. (could be 29.99..). Smartest of the bludgers.
I have tattoos and piercings, plan to grow my hair like a girl lol, and look like a total baby which is why I’m gonna cover it with hair and I’m in my late-mid 20’s.

I feel kinda like an outsider from here because of that post – “13 evil women who exploit Asian men” #6 The Rebel chick…

To be honest, I really dig chicks with tattoos, especially the ones with deep meaning, like myself. so…yeah, just felt like a total outsider there LOL!!!!!! Like a nigel! hahaq!!!!!

Are you still reading this?…

Eat this sucker —–>    :p


BobLobLaw February 8, 2012 at 12:36 am

hah! This is a great article.

As a short (5’6″) asian guy, I’m proud to say that I love those tall white girls.
If I ever have kids, I want them to be tall. That way, I can force them into sports and live vicariously through them!


Ruin March 7, 2012 at 1:19 pm

Wow, you’ve got this planned out, huh? I love your honestly here. I’m between 5’7″ and 5’8″ (tall enough?) and come from a tall family. If the old adage is true that boys will always be taller than their mother, then you shouldn’t have a problem there!!!


Seck July 2, 2012 at 11:35 am

Not true. Boys are more likely to become taller than their mothers because women are always short. It’s not because they are tall. It’s because women in ancient times were shorter than nowadays women. 


Kanata17th May 31, 2012 at 10:59 pm

ur kids will be stupid also


Noname November 4, 2012 at 4:54 am

What the hell is wrong with you? Forcing your kids into sports and live them through them? Don’t ever breed…


Brandon February 10, 2012 at 7:55 am

I do not know of one woman: white, asian, latino, black, who would intentionally want to be with a guy that is barely taller than her, same height or even shorter than her.

I am not saying that shorter men/taller women relationships don’t exist, because they do, I am just saying that I have asked women this question with the same answer. It is not a preference, it is settling that is filled with justification.


Loving Korean February 28, 2012 at 6:05 pm

Well now you know one.


Kanata17th May 31, 2012 at 10:59 pm

height pref is a western thing stupiddd…asians are more focus on brains, fukken banana


Anonymous February 13, 2012 at 7:27 pm

Height has never been an issue for me but weight has been.I have dated guys who expect me to look good is some of the frilly cute stuff thats in style that just wont fit over my boobs and does not make me look good.
I used to think that no Asian guy would like me BECAUSE all I heard was how Asian men put a lot of judgment into looks and weight blah blah blah 
But its not really true,a lot Asian men actually like a girl with a figure ^~^


杰丁 June 11, 2012 at 7:51 am

…..I am a Chinese boy I am 21 years old in northern China boy I 185CM    …18-year-old the Harbin boys 180CM also normal height      Our 18-year-old boys, most of 180CM     20% higher than 180CM     25% lower than the 180CM     25% lower than the 180CM    Average penis 16CM  I 18CM  


Jaim L July 5, 2012 at 1:32 pm



Roland August 7, 2012 at 11:51 am

I’m a 6’1″ Asian guy and there are guys shorter than me that are able to get with classy women like Heather? Jeez, what am I doing with my life?

Haha, I’m kidding. Well, half-kidding. 


Amrnda August 16, 2012 at 11:05 pm

Height is only awkward if you let it be! I actually read a really funny manga about a tall Japanese girl and an extra-short guy, and how they eventually let go of their insecurities (with lots of comedic situations). I know I risk sounding like some crazy otaku weeaboo, but that story actually made me think about height difference in dating and made me conclude that if I really care about someone, their height just isn’t that important. 🙂


GM October 21, 2012 at 3:16 am

Do white woman be interested in asian man from asia countries (e.g. Thailand)?


Lauren January 20, 2014 at 7:12 pm

Farang girls do like Thai guys 🙂 I’ve got about 3 inches on น้ำพุ, but He carries himself well


Jessica Berg December 25, 2012 at 8:54 am

Like I said in my other post, I am 5’9″ as well and as I do understand that my height is a turn off to a lot of asian men, I have ended up with the most wonderful man in the world. A 5’2″ Japanese-American man. I love him to death and I love the attention we get from outsiders staring at our 7in height difference. Height shouldn’t matter if you truly love the person. Emotions go much farther when you ignore all the unimportant details 🙂


Dvorah March 23, 2013 at 8:18 pm

I’m 5’1” So Pretty Much All Guys Are Taller…. So Nice.


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