by JT Tran · 70 comments

Jenny An refuses to date Asian men (courtesy of XOJane)

Jenny An refuses to date Asian men (courtesy of XOJane)

So in another spectacular bit of race baiting and Asian trolling, popular shock rag XO Jane put out an article entitled “I’M AN ASIAN WOMAN AND I REFUSE TO EVER DATE AN ASIAN MAN” by Jenny An.

Are there Asian women who refuse to date Asian men? Your bet your ass there are. Something like 45% of American born Asian women will marry a non-Asian American male. Its not a new phenomenon and something that’s been growing and growing for years.

Close to 20% or 1.5 million Asian American men will never marry because of Asian women like Jenny An who are self-described “racists” and could never look at an Asian man in a romantic light. I’ve had the misfortune of meeting Asian women like Jenny in real life and many of my students and readers have reported back that they too have run afoul of a Jenny An.

So to all the Jenny “I’M AN ASIAN WOMAN AND I REFUSE TO EVER DATE AN ASIAN MAN” An’s of the world, here is my reply:

You’re a racist, Jenny An. That’s right. A downright dirty hate speech angry pissed off racist, and I commend you for saying it. But what are you really?

While there is a proclamation of racism in the beginning of your “I’M AN ASIAN WOMAN AND I REFUSE TO EVER DATE AN ASIAN MAN” rant backed by numbers and statistics of interracial marriage, I got something to tell you sweetheart, and you aren’t going to like it. Here’s what you really are:

You aren’t special.

Sure, you like white meat. It’s a little dry, and there’s a lot more of it. That’s fine, perfectly OK, but what bothers most is your little “I’M AN ASIAN WOMAN AND I REFUSE TO EVER DATE AN ASIAN MAN” rant about Asian values, and while I can understand your angst (as I’ve gone through it as well, taught guys how to get over it as well etc.) and know that many Asians are feeling the cultural pull of GPA, Ivy League admission, deference to authority, being humble and hard work.

Instead, you just say “Fuck it all.” Again, this isn’t a new phenomenon. Asians all around America (and even countries like Korea, Thailand, Vietnam, China, and Japan) have been rejecting their own culture. Just look at the Ganguro Japanese culture with their dyed blonde hair and blue contact lenses for proof. Like I said earlier:

You aren’t special.

But oh! You go on about how Daniel Liu is hot, how you DO like the effeminate nerdy sort of deal, and more. Would you date him? No way!

That’s because he is ASIAN, and that’s a deal breaker for you. Frankly, I don’t think you’re a racist, even though you’ve proclaimed it to the internets. I don’t think you’re racist at all. Sure, you don’t want to date Asian men, and you “can” date white guys, but in the end, does it really matter?

Now I’ve turned TONS of women on to being a true blue fan of Asian men. Some of them never turn back to their white meat ways and continue to date many attractive well-kempt exotic Asian men, often times they’re my students who were once hateful and regretful of the color of their hair, darkness of their skin, or slant in their eyes.

Are these women that have been charmed and seduced by my students now racist too? Or is it more of just a preference? Some girls date exclusively Hispanic men. Others like black men only.

Do I date a lot of white women? Yes, I do, but I also date Latin and African American women as well as a few of our own Asian women. I don’t exclude by race, although I certainly have preferences. When I teach my students about dating, I don’t tell them to only date white women,. That’s not my goal.

Rather my goal is to humanize both Asian men and women to one another. To show that Asian men are as confident and masculine as other men and that yes, we find women of all races to be attractive and desireable. And so hopefully, more women of color, whether she’s white, black, or Latina, will open up themselves to dating us.

New York Magazine: Paper Tigers

New York Magazine: Paper Tigers

Wesley Yang took me out for drinks in NYC after the whole New York Magazine “Paper Tigers” article. That article opened up eyes, made people see what its like to be an Asian man, and gave the world a no-bullshit view of core Asian values. What was your response?

“Fuck filial piety. Fuck grade grubbing. Fuck Ivy League mania. Fuck deference to authority. Fuck humility and hard work. Fuck harmonious relations. Fuck sacrificing for the future. Fuck earnest, striving middle-class servility.”

Is it so much that you’re racist? Or is it that you’re just rejecting your cultural heritage? Let that soak in – “rejection of cultural heritage.” You don’t want to date Asian guys, completely fine, but what’s getting the bad rap here, Asian men, or Asian values?

With your liberal use of F-bombs in “I’M AN ASIAN WOMAN AND I REFUSE TO EVER DATE AN ASIAN MAN”, I don’t think you hate or have a dislike of Asian men at all, seeing you said Daniel Liu is hot. You just disown your Asian cultural heritage, and it’s OK.

To be frank, that’s pretty common among Asian communities. I know that my children are going to be raised like other American children, but with an understanding of their cultural Asian history, even if they do have the slanted eyes, black hair, and yellow skin. Like I said earlier:

You aren’t special.

Asians have been doing this to themselves for the longest time. It’s true. We are self racist, and in your own words, we still see ourselves as a minority, outsiders, and foreigners. Yes, the whole “model minority” factor makes me sick as well, as I know plenty of my Asian bad boys out there, donned in double extra large t-shirts, silly baseball caps, and shorts too long to be shorts, tipped with K-Swiss sneakers.

I get it. You don’t want to date one of your people, but that doesn’t make you racist. If “dating white men gets you accepted into American culture,” then maybe I should just date someone of a different color so I get accepted into that culture.

Is your way of thinking fucked up? You bet it is, and is there really any way to change it? A simple counter “I’M AN ASIAN WOMAN AND I REFUSE TO EVER DATE AN ASIAN MAN” article cannot.

In fact, I feel it’s rude to change you. I can’t make anyone un-racist like I can’t un-Asian myself. But maybe you ought to think to yourself, am I just running away from my cultural values? Isn’t that a source of insecurity? Maybe that’s a way to fix your “fucked up way of thinking.”

But you forget: being AMERICAN is about cultural diversity. Chinese food isn’t really Chinese food, cheeseburgers came from Germany, my cab driver is Jamaican, and the waitress at my favorite Korean restaurant is white. So how the heck does dating white men mean getting accepted into American society, when America is already a big fat melting pot of multiple cultures? If anything, dating a person of MULTIPLE races would be considered getting accepted into American culture, because low and behold, not all of Americans are white. Big surprise.

Yes, you are part of a trend that 37% of Asian brides married non-Asian grooms. Cool, and good for you for being part of the recent interracial marriage trend, but to go online and slather the name of Asian men in a title that says you absolutely refuse to date Asian men? Not cool.

I bet there’s tons of other Asian girls out there that feel similar, but keep it to themselves because having an argument on the internet is like yelling at a vegetable. I don’t know if you’ve gotten the point yet, but just to reiterate:

You aren’t special

Dating white guys doesn’t mean getting accepted into American culture

Get over yourself.

{ 70 comments… read them below or add one }

Ben J Pua September 4, 2012 at 12:46 pm

YES YES YES! THANK YOU for slapping some sense into this girl!


jo June 3, 2014 at 9:34 pm

Yes, how DARE she prefer white guys over her own race? however, white people who refuse to date their own race are awesome!

Too many racist idiots here so I’m out.


Steve Lee June 23, 2016 at 9:48 am

No one will miss you, Bye.


Georgio September 4, 2012 at 3:31 pm

This sell out whore Jenny An is ugly outside and inside. LOL!


Chi Szeto September 4, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Cheers brotha!


thegame September 4, 2012 at 4:31 pm

to the asian girl; all I got to say is you better be FUCKEN HOT to make a statement like that. So far from the picture I have seen. you are not hot at all.


Daclaud September 25, 2012 at 9:21 pm

She’s NOT hot, so that’s why she “CAN” make a statement like that because no self respecting Asian dude would “want” to date her either.


Reggie September 4, 2012 at 6:37 pm

Last weekend I watched a highly popular dating show in China. They happened to have a white guy as candidate. It ended with him going home alone. There was no match with any of the 24 Chinese girls on the panel. The host asked the one girl this guy wanted to date why she shut off her light (signaling a no go for her). She said, “No offense, I just don’t feel for white guys”. The host asked, even if the white guy is Tom Cruise? She said yes, any white guy.

I think the observation here is that women are the product of the dominant culture. In China the dominant culture is obviously Sino-centric. That’s what people respect and aspire to. Over here, it’s Euro-centric, therefore it produces people like Jenny.


papaSmurf September 6, 2012 at 9:28 am

I’ve lived in Asia for a year. I don’t date Asians is just as prevalent there as it is here. Don’t take what you saw on the TV show to seriously. White culture and white people are put on a pedestal in Asia.


Reggie September 10, 2012 at 5:56 pm

You lived in Asia as a foreigner, which is different from someone who is native to that culture. People there like white culture in a superficial manner. Dig deeper and you’ll find that there is little real interest in the culture part of it.

Girls in the mainstream society there prefer Asian men by an overwhelming margin, just as over here majority of the white girls would go out with white men. The problem you see in the West is largely non-existent in the East. In this country, there’s been a history of discrimination, bias, and misinformation about other cultures that is deep rooted. Even Italian immigrants will tell you they were discriminated against in the past. One Italian lady told me her parents prohibited them from speaking Italian because it was perceived as lower class.

In Asia, Chinese culture is highly regarded by not only Chinese but many other Asian countries as well, such as Koreans and Vietnamese. Pop culture is also highly positive about Asian men. Even white girls here who get exposed to Asian pop culture will want to look for Asian guys.

What’s the lesson? Know your own culture. Teach it to your kids. It’s bad enough when other cultures are misinformed about your culture. It’s worse when you are misinformed about it yourself, as in the case of Jenny. If you can speak two cultures, your dating opportunities just doubled if not tripled or quadrupled.


Realist September 11, 2012 at 3:20 am

True… While many (both men and women) would try dating out of their race, a large proportion of them would still stick it out with their kind when marriage and kids are involved.


lookatmeiamwhitelol March 25, 2014 at 5:51 pm

LOL many foreigners here full of themselves like you. LOL


M June 3, 2014 at 9:33 pm

LOL you mad, arrogant boy?


Steve Lee June 23, 2016 at 9:08 am

You need to be more specific here, PapaSmurf. Which part of Asia? The Philippines, Thailand or Indonesia. These countries are well known sexpats paradise.


Anonymous September 6, 2012 at 9:44 pm

I’ve seen that show before, they tend to have white people as candidates quite often.

But I agree with papaSmurf, they tend to put White culture on a pedestal. Which leads to my theory of the failed structure of East Asian families. Putting too much emphasis on academics and success, while neglecting proper family values.


Kieran Tsao September 7, 2012 at 1:28 am

Is that Take Me Out? We have that in Europe, no likey, no lighty!


Anonymous September 5, 2012 at 2:23 am

I wonder if the no-I-don’t-want-to-date-asians girl really want white guys. I don’t connect to the white guys nor the asian guys in my European country. I was a no-to-asian girl but mostly as a reaction to everything my parents and then it stuck. Then I hung out with some random asian people from asia and realized I was stuck in the past and that there are asians who I could connect to! I could connect with my people! Then I got over my own racism and declared there are hot and awesome people in any race!

The girls stuck in asian-hate probably got there without knowing why and pretty much without knowing better. And maybe they grew up around white people and the only asians they met was their family… Who really knows? The statistics refer to marriages not to what happened before.

I am not sure about your surroundings but I noticed all the asian people who pretty much exclusively (and don’t need to because of prevalent white people) hang around asian people exclusively date other asians. Is that true in your eyes?

Also whats up with asian fetish it creeps me the fuck out.

Bottom line yeah people got issues.


Kieran Tsao September 7, 2012 at 6:05 am

Exactly! “Urgghhh I hate asian men etc.” – and then you find out they’ve spoken to one, let alone dated one. They’ve just taken one look and a flood of stereotypes come in…


Anonymous September 5, 2012 at 11:11 am

I was really pissed when I heard the title and other talk about it. But I actually read the article and now I’m rather divided. It really does seem like satire. It is that crude, over-the-top and obnoxious. But I also realize that there are an incredible number of crude, obnoxious Asian women out there. So I’m not sure if she was trying to make satire or if that’s her real self speaking. The problem is that it takes considerable skill to pull off good satire. An is clearly quite dull. If that was her intent, I hope she realizes that she comes off halfway as seeming to actually promoting those views instead of mocking them as is the purpose of satire. The fact that she said in an email to a journalist about this piece that she actually dates Asian men in real life and that she was trying for satire somewhat bolsters the satire thesis. But I’m still unsure because it might be that she’s just reacting to protect her image in the aftermath.


Kieran Tsao September 7, 2012 at 6:03 am

If it was satire then it would be amazingly shit satire, and thus she would have failed. Therefore the only conclusion is she is airing her frank and honest views about her own men, under the illusion of satire and comedy so that she can’t be deemed racist and a self hating Chinese with an inferiority complex.


Adrian Voight September 5, 2012 at 7:45 pm

Alright, I’m sorry man, but I feel like this response is kind of bullshit. I’m probably gonna be flamed by a lot of this community for saying it, but her articles is honestly identical to a lot of the articles here, where women claim they would never date a white man because they don’t find it attractive and, in the opposite of what Jenny An says, they prefer the Asian cultures more gentle nature and whatnot. I, as a white man with an asian girlfriend who has dealt with her mom insulting her and trying to set her up with Asian guys, think it’s retarded that when an Asian women says she wants to date white guys she’s called a whore and a racist and whatnot, but when a white girl says the exact same thing about an asian man, she’s viewed as progressive and gains praise. While you maybe offer a more moderate (though in my idea still biased response), you gloss over the many essentially identical posts about white women wanting asian men on this website. I don’t give a shit what combination of race and gender a couple is, but this kind of double standard is honestly ridiculous.


papaSmurf September 6, 2012 at 9:51 am

As an Asian man I can relate to JT. We constantly hear asian women use asian men as scapegoats time and time again, especially when she has a broader audience or when white people around. If she prefers white, then say so. Jen and many other anglophile always end up focusing the negative attention on asian men. Yes there are women here who have a preference for asian men, but they focus mainly on their preference. This logic is also very prevalent in Asia. It has more to do with their insecurities being asian and wanting to fit in with whites, I went through it when I was younger and I am sure most asians went through.

here is an example: She focuses her venom on asian men as to why she prefers “foreigners” (foreigners in asia mostly refers to whites)

Gina Choe from America Next Top model bagging on asian men as to why she only date whites

The comedian ester ku whose jokes are always trashing asian men.

The girls from Ktown she who ended making their friend feel like she was odd because she dates only Korean/asian.

My point is whenever asian women have the ‘mic’ they like blasting out about how asian men are this and that, especially when their audience is white.

Those examples are the tip of the iceberg.

I say to these ‘White worshippers’ GO.FCKU.YOURSELF! We get tired your $h!+


Kieran Tsao September 7, 2012 at 1:27 am

At the same time, something needs to be done about altering this very unhealthy mindset. For example, you see white women dating other races… some even exclusively other races, and not white men – but do you ever hear them trash talk their own men? The notion is ridiculous, yet asian women not only do it… but freely do it with no issues, as if it was normal.


Anonymous September 6, 2012 at 10:01 pm

Everybody has a preference, we get that. If an Asian girls prefers a White guy, so be it. But denigrating your heritage and other people is tasteless. I don’t remember any girls on this site ever vilifying White guys?


Steve Lee June 23, 2016 at 9:01 am

Adrain, the issue is because she wants to be white or an intrinsic part of the white group, then she blames her asian heritage being the dead weight for her, and even blames asian men for whatever obstacles she might have faced in “integrating and assimilating into the white society”. If a mentality like that prevails, then asian people, particularly asian men, will always be blamed no matter how ludicrous it sounds, because asian men can not be white men. That’s the problem of Jenny An’s articule.


Mike Smooth Pua September 5, 2012 at 10:57 pm

Well said, JT.

What this girl
truly wants inside to is to be accepted as a white person and, thus, in her
mind, be accepted into American culture. She hates being considered
“different”. What does she choose to do? Tell the world
that she chooses to only date white men (which is fine, I don’t really care). But then she has the
nerve to bring down Asian men (which is what really gets my blood boiling); when really the core of her problem is that she
has an inferiority complex.

No matter what she does, she will ALWAYS be
considered “different”. Marrying a white guy won’t change that.
One thing she needs
to realize is that no matter what she does (in this case date/marry a white
guy), people (his friends/his family/strangers) will always have in the back of their head that she is Asian, that
she is different, that she is , etc.
It doesn’t change who she is and I feel sorry for her.

One of the most important things you ever taught me was to accept who I was
(whether I was Asian/White/Latino/Black/Whatever, Tall/Short/Average) and be happy with
it. Out of all the life lessons taught to students, none of their success would have been possible without that student believing in himself; knowing that he is different, accepting it, and being okay with that. That is the biggest lesson of all, being okay with who you are.


Anonymous September 6, 2012 at 1:33 am

her gain! lol


Anonymous September 6, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Hate to say this, but the cause is bad parenting. East Asian parents need to wake up and teach their children beyond academics. For some reason, there is always this inferiority complex with East Asians not “living up” to other people’s expectations. Maybe it’s the “don’t lose face” mentality and try to fit into society even if it means doing what others want. They are so conscientious and insecure about themselves they would betray their own dignity. Sure the media has its influences, but you don’t see people of other ethnicity, religion, or culture bashing themselves. Children of Latin, Italian, Russian, Muslim, Indian, African descent don’t go castigating their own groups regardless of who they end up with. Many of these people still respect where they came from and what their parents values are. So it’s sickening that this type of self-loathing is so frequent among East Asians. Now I’m not say all are like this, but a large minority have this mentality. I’ve meet many people from different ethnic backgrounds and never do I ever hear any of them say anything negative about their heritage. On the other hand, whenever I meet someone of East Asian descent there is this kind of identity crisis. I meet this Japanese girl who would not date Japanese men for who knows what reason, a Filipino coworker of mines who wouldn’t date Filipino girls, my Chinese buddy who only wants to date White girls. Sure everybody has preferences, mines is someone with a pair of breast, a vagina, and a smoking body. But never would I deny my heritage.


Kieran Tsao September 7, 2012 at 1:21 am

Children of Latin, Italian, Russian, Muslim, Indian, African descent don’t go castigating their own groups regardless of who they end up with.
Errr… they do. They totally do. Heard of honour killings because they married out their caste?

You are right on the identity self hatred/inferiority complex thing… other races/peoples NEVER hate on their own, certainly never stereotype their race when so and so commits a crime/does something unappealing – but East Asians do this all the time.


Anonymous September 7, 2012 at 9:18 am

I won’t condone honour killings, it’s barbaric. Enough said.

Where this takes place it is deeply rooted in their culture and beliefs. It’s a specific problem they have to tackle as a society. It’s on the OPPOSITE end of the spectrum in terms of what East Asians go through when they grow up. There is no inferiority complex among these “honour killers.” They force their ideas upon their own children. However, my main point wasn’t whether each race or group of people commits crimes. Crime comes from every group for various reasons.

The crux of my post was about the self-loathing East Asians tend to have. Now, I do believe this is a minority that are like that, but it’s large enough that it is prevalent and the media adds a multiplier effect that magnifies the situation. You have to admit no other group actively speaks down about their own culture or ethnicity as much as East Asians do. And let me elaborate on the “speaking down” part. East Asians tend to denigrate and deny their heritage due to an inferiority complex they have. Again, I believe this is a minority among the East Asian community, but there is a big enough presence where it is noticeable.

Now if you can except this fact, we can dissect this further and figure out the root of this problem. IMO, it stems from a failed family structure. Parents need to teach proper values and a sense of strong cultural identity to their children.


messiman March 1, 2013 at 10:32 pm

honour killings had happned among Pakistani Afghan families, but tht gives u a picture, if a Muslim woman marries non-Muslim reaction from community can be v harsh. So it is very rare for a Muslim woman to marry off a Christian.


AMATZ May 6, 2013 at 8:55 am

I am adopted so I don’t have Asian parents, but my gf is Chinese, and while she went to Cornell and graduated with a very high gpa, her parents never were “tiger parents.” She did it because she knew it was her path to success. Her parents are awesome parents, and while they push her to do well, it wasn’t and still isn’t suffocating pressure.


Reggie September 10, 2012 at 8:06 pm

Here is an example of Korean man as portrayed on American TV:

How is how Korean man is portrayed on Korean TV:


Loc Vu December 25, 2012 at 5:29 am

There should be a meme about this…


livetolift190 January 31, 2013 at 2:35 pm

Still the Korean guy is way too feminine for western standards. He needs muscle, no makeup, and more masculine hair.


Alexander September 15, 2012 at 10:19 pm

this blog just happened to come cross me and Ive got to say, wow ! I am asian of course, my white friends describe me as ” even whiter than most of the whites”. So I am as white as I can get ! Even then, I would not say I absolutely refuse to date Asian girls ! I find some asian girls are equally beautiful just like everyone from different ethnicities.

Jenny chung or an or lin whatever she is, if she really says that, well good for her ! good luck with the white guys ! Not only she is nothing special with that round face of hers, she is just a hater ! Hey, Jen, how about you “I REFUSE TO EVEN TALK TO ANY ASIAN GUY !”


Anonymous November 22, 2013 at 1:44 pm

why do they say ur ‘white, ur friends sound casually racist which is basically just racist. maybe you should ditch them and find new friends and while your at it, try to get more in touch with ur asian heritage?


E.Z September 16, 2012 at 2:58 pm

You are saying chances for Asian men to date white girls online lessen compared to that for them dating white girls in real life . My question if an Asian man that’s really good at dating white girls online . What does it indicate in real life?


Daclaud September 25, 2012 at 9:19 pm

The thing is, I used to like Asian girls until about 10th grade. Then I found out Asian girls didn’t like me, so I started dating girls of other ethnic backgrounds and I never looked back. The funny thing is, I’ve never dated an Asian girl in my entire life. I’ve dated White, Black, Latina and Mixed girls but I’ve never met an Asian girl who wanted to date me… weird right?


AMATZ May 6, 2013 at 8:58 am

Dacalud, I was the same way. I am Asian and never met an Asian girl who wanted to date Asian men until college and even then preferred white women until now. It wasn’t so much that I excluded Asian women, it was I felt they were excluding me.


Anonymous November 22, 2013 at 1:38 pm

well, I’m an asian girl and I ONLY date asian guys from my own heritage so I can continue my culture. I find that a little hard to believe because the majority of asians still date other asians?
I dont approve of asians dating anyone other than their own heritage. BOTH male AND female. Asian love is the best! because the end result, whether its an asian guy with a non-asian, or asian female with a non-asian, the end result is assiliation and losing one’s heritage. the end result damage is the same.


saynotoasianwomen March 25, 2014 at 5:41 pm

No, it’s not. Don’t be ignorant to the present social environment. Asian men in this generation will never date an Asian female with the present trend. 37 percent of Asian women date outside their race. Asian men will find out they will never need to approach an Asian women again in North America.


Guest September 30, 2012 at 7:10 am

I wanted to say… her loss. Excluding based on race is silly. Of course attraction is shaped by what we are bombarded with, and so there is a general universal “attraction” to “white” people. I do think in this regard I find asian women slightly better than asian men as probably in general women dont hold appearance to be paramount for relationships. I have never met an asian man open to dating dark skinned women, not so with asian women. However, I do feel that excluding an entire population based on some stereotypical characteristics is sad. Also, not all men have to be aggressive to get girls. I actually like it when a guy is not too forward or aggressive. That is one of the reasons I like some asian men. So its about finding the right person instead of becoming something you are not.

Its good to know JT that you dont just teach asian men how to pick up white women coz the website title and other three co authors do give that impression.


Yz000 October 8, 2012 at 7:12 am

Yes you are right. But at least she’s honest and said many things we agree to subconsciously but are afraid to say out loud.


rob October 26, 2012 at 3:50 pm

just randomly surfing and i found this site by accident and thought i’d have a look:
im a 1/2 breed Asian/Caucasian and I’ve probably been with just as many white women as Asian women and never considered the issue. started w a white farm girl and ended up married for 14 years to an Asian and then went back to white women (younger beautiful white women at that) . although both groups have ripped my heart out on occasion but i think that’s my own doing. i’m not particularly academic, i’m a high school drop-out with a less than stellar work record and i don’t know any martial arts or speak anything other than English. i find it just varies from person to person although i admit having to hide from my teenage step daughters’ friends so maybe it is me.

no problems w the parents in the past. in fact they couldn’t be quicker to get their girls married it off it seems.


Anonymous November 4, 2012 at 8:07 am

The problem with a lot of Asian-Americans is that their parents are still stuck in an Immigrant Time Warp. Therefore, the Asia that many Asian-Americans grow up with is one that reflects the 70s or 80s. Asia has changed a lot since then, but Asian-American parents still carry the outdated attitudes of a time when Asia was a lot poorer and a lot less appealing culturally.

For example, a Chinese-American kid growing up may have parents who immigrated/escaped from Communist China during the 1970s. That kid grows up thinking that China is still like what it was back in the 1970s, and s/he wants to distance him/herself from it.

But China nowadays is very different from what it was decades ago. Yet immigrant Chinese parents will have lost touch with their homeland and continue to expound the attitudes and social mores of the time period when they left.

No wonder we have so many Asian-American kids who are not proud of their heritage: their parents have given them an Asia that was poor and not as culturally vibrant as it is today.


Jack November 9, 2012 at 11:43 pm

I think Jenny An is just being sarcastic towards those self-loathing asian females. Otherwise she won’t admit that she has self hating issues.

the article is just an irony


Jack November 9, 2012 at 11:47 pm

I actually think that it’s a good thing that she wrote everything out.

because if the self-loathing asian girls read her article, they’ll feel ashamed for ever discriminating against asian men. this article may actually be a wake up call to some westernized asian girls


Asian Guy November 16, 2012 at 8:58 am
Pedro November 17, 2012 at 4:33 am

Here’s a piece of everybody’s mind for that Jenny the conceited-bitch.
the status-quo of WM and AF came from US GI and Asian-whore fever.
when US army saw Asian-bar girl ,who were also prostitutes in the back of the bars who later try to get Visa from the Armys to find EZ life to USA.
So just to get a Visa asian-bar girl whore keeps sucking and kissing up
US Armys. same things passed down form her moms who worked there in sleazy-bars. The white guys look at her Geisha-China doll only means whore. She wants him to take care of her like a Baby-Sitter.
Oh of course Asian-women could date anybody in the world, because she’s the one who is PRONE to be a promiscous whore .
Whenever AF and WM couples exist she has no pride in her culture and background. Because 90 % of times she goes to white guy’s partys instead of her’s and her side of family and peers. She’s out of placed.
Because lot of white guys are NOT even her type at all. He does not know nothing about Asian cultures, except for Exotic-Geisha-China doll whore crap of cultural -ignorancy. Who will be sub-serviant to him.
hey even Latinas have more cultural-prides than GI’s Asian whores.
So, that ugly Egostical-bitch Jenny better realize her color and cultural-prides, and quit being in Stautus-Quo of GI’s bar-girl whore.


Anonymous November 22, 2013 at 1:35 pm

you can talk about de-colonizing without using hateful language towards women that perpetuate rape culture.


JamesL December 20, 2012 at 9:49 pm

JT, I applaud you! Well said my friend. It seems like this girl never really gotten over the fact that she’s able to make her own decision, and that these “Asian values” have pretty much ruined it for her. Instead of moving on and opening her mind to other possibilities she decides to entrap herself with these values. To me I don’t think she has enough courage to break free and move on and date who she pleases regardless of ethnic background; but preferably someone of similar values.


Loc Vu December 25, 2012 at 5:28 am

Read your article. I totally agree. She’s trying to get noticed at the cost of bad mouthing Asian men. She want’s to be special at the cost of others. An apology would be nice, but that just shows her character…


john January 12, 2013 at 10:39 am

a fucking traitor !!! you were born as asian women, you are disgrace for your own race

I feel sorry your parents


Leo January 16, 2013 at 8:51 pm

She’s just mad because she haven’t gotten laid for a while. That’s all I got out of her article.


Yennhi Duong March 1, 2013 at 11:38 pm

Uh.. this might not be common now, but I was born and raised in the States my whole life. I’ve been surrounded by mostly Caucasian guys/ men the majority of my life and… it could be a personal preference but I view Asian men as more attractive in my eyes.. I am not racist and I would probably date the guy( regardless of their ethnicity) that I find attractive or has a personality that I like. Don’t know why that is though :/, what is there not to be proud of having an Asian as your boyfriend/ spouse? I am proud to be an Asian, though I was born in America, like the post has clearly stated I am not American. All American- Asians still check that little box that asks what ethnicity are you, as Asian. We should all really take a small portion out of our life to really think back at our own background…and embrace our culture.


Lady March 4, 2013 at 1:13 am

Response to your article, Actually she is special, We all are in our own way… Seems like you are devaluing a human being just because of her opinion.


Shelby Flaska April 29, 2013 at 5:17 pm

I don’t like any other men but Asian men so… more loves to go around. c:


黃俊翔 May 24, 2013 at 1:14 pm

If Asian men have”Bamboo Ceiling”problem,also must be Asian woman’s problem,because we are Asian women’s education out of the.
Asian woman taught bad!”Chinese Tiger Mother education “,infeasible!


H K October 26, 2013 at 9:15 am

She looks like JT’s twin sister.


Anonymous November 22, 2013 at 1:33 pm

This site is not the right way to open this discussion. I understand that as Asian men, it’s frustrating to see Asian women date white guys a lot. Black women also show the same frustration seeing black men marry white women (its the most popular interracial coupling, more than asian women with white men). However, the way you are approaching it and if you look at the comments, it’s just turning into slut shaming and women hating. it’s angry and vicious. This is not the right way.
I am an Asian woman who only date Asian men from my own heritage.
I dont like Asian women only dating white men, but I also don’t like how you made an entire website supporting Asian men with white women.
You cannot tell Asian women not to date white men, while you yourself put dating white women on a pedestal.
This approach is more harmful to the entire process of de-colonization, does not help.
You are mixing what should be a discussion about white media and colonized mindsets, supporting of ASIAN LOVE NOT SHAMING ASIAN WOMEN FOR DATING WHITE MEN WHILE YOU YOURSELF PROMOTE DATING WHITE WOMEN. ALL ASIANS SHOULD BE SUPPORTIVE OF EACH OTHER AND ‘ASIAN LOVE’ ABOVE ALL ELSE. YOU NEED TO RE-EXAMINE YOUR APPROACH. You need to examine what caused these things to happen in the first place and attack that together. You will only furthur alienate Asian women from the Asian community by approaching it this way.


Steve Lee June 23, 2016 at 7:21 am

What you said is bull. Asian men who seek Asian women only is conservative and it’s Asian men’s problem of confining mating options within our own race. OK fine. Now JT tells Asian men to look outside of our own race for non-Asian women (read: it means anyone but Asian, not confining to white only, unlike you Asian women who claim love is colorblind)


Steve Lee June 23, 2016 at 7:32 am

What you said is bull. Asian men who seek Asian women only is conservative and it’s an Asian men’s problem of confining our mating options within our race. OK fine, then. Now JT tells Asian men to look outside of our own race for non-Asian women (read: it means anyone but Asian, not confining to white only, unlike you Asian women who claim love is colorblind and only date white men). Now you accuse JT of putting white women on pedestal. You Asian American women are increasingly falling out of favor with Asian American men with this attitude. AA men do, our fault. AA men don’t, our fault as well. You AA women just sound like those white feminists who always blame white men for everything.


Anonymous November 22, 2013 at 3:32 pm

Stereotypes are funny things. What about stereotypes, if you will, of Mao and the Long March? Burmese dissidents? The North Vietnamese Army which defeated a superpower, namely the USA? There’s a whole lot of Asian culture that isn’t “filial piety, grade grubbing, Ivy League mania, deference to authority, humility and hard work. etc.


Hakk July 20, 2014 at 8:47 am

Put you in my country I think nobody would have a thought about dating you, even you don’t need to speak.


Tera Patric October 26, 2014 at 11:25 pm

Based on my experiences, the lack of popularity of Asian males as a desirable partner stem from how they were raised and perceived as much as how empowered Asian females became.

Asian males were taught by their mothers to marry Asian females and to respect and treat females with courtesy and respect while others had the old father figure role models as the patriarch of the family ruling with an iron fist which contradicts what Asian females or any females would like. In essence, Asian males became the “nice” and “good” guys. Sound familiar? Only when these Asian males are given a chance that you realize they are great guys who are every bit manly, confident and chivalrous as their White counterparts but their approach have been horribly wrong based on what they’ve been told all along. They’ve been told that females don’t like being hit on or playing games and that females adore sensitive and honesty. They even see it from television and movies where ladies go ga ga over the quiet and sensitive guys. While these Asian males are thinking of the perfect way to approach women with all these “guidelines”, some arrogant jerk swoops in with some cheesy lines, plays games and then hook up with them. Wonder why these gals fell for those jerks? It’s because they were “macho, confident and challenging” which of course contradicts what Asian males have been told all along. Unfortunately, some of these Asian males still think that way which turns off their Asian female counterparts. While they’re obsessing about whether to be aggressive or passive with Asian females, they totally forgot about other females of ethnicity out there. Thus, they are somewhat awkward socially in the dating scene with other ethnicity until they finally relax and then their confidence and personalities come through. Unfortunately, most females want a ready made guy and are not patient enough to wait for the Asian males to break out of their shell.

Asian females on the other hand were told of the freedom and opportunities women have in modern society and how they should embrace it. Guess what? They embraced it wholeheartedly and gained so much confidence and power. Thus, they didn’t want Asian males that represented the old patriarchal ways of their culture nor did they want the “needy” and “nice” guys who didn’t project confidence or chivalry that women like. Thus, the proclamations of “I only date white guys…..etc.” Ironically, these Asian females date White males who epitomizes the needy and nice guy persona that Asian males were instilled by their mothers and media. If you will notice an Asian female and White male next time in public, the Asian female is usually the dominant partner while the White male is more passive and a follower. The females are most likely making the decisions, talking to people and “directing” the poor fellows around (“Hold this, go there, get that….etc”). Of course, there are exceptions to where some of the girls do like the bad boys until they cheat on them which drives them to the “nice” but white guys. See the hypocrisy.

In the end, I believe the educated Asian males will have the last laugh once they reached their mid to upper 50s where common decency, financial stability and respect towards women (and her children) will be paramount. That, is a real man. There’s no drama involved, they rarely cheat and they certainly don’t play games or know how to play games which carries over very well with the ladies of any ethnicity except for some of these hypocritical Asian females who still will prefer White males regardless.


G April 23, 2015 at 10:55 pm

I think people like her are probably scared and I don’t mean physically scared. She probably thinks she can assimilate by putting other people down (even her own ancestral people) just to prove that she’s an idiot, lazy, loser who doesn’t have to fee like she has to take shit from anyone. I agree with you JT, she’s an idiot.


DSealis August 3, 2016 at 12:52 am

I posted just this to her page:

“We Asian American men have already seen this before: an Asian girl’s futile frail attempt to disguise her personal disgust towards Asian men’s physiology and overall presence with “becoming liberated from traditions”. Reading your article, I already know for two reasons that this isn’t truly about breaking away from the parents’ alleged expectations that we MUST marry within our tribe. For one, if you’re an American, you already long knew that you had the right and self-power to marry outside your race, despite any lingering traditional restrictive expectations. (After all, we kids are going to do what we want, right?) Secondly, the point of fact is that Asian men are the least desired group of men when it comes to racial dating; it’s not just asian women not liking asian men, despite the convenient “date outside my own fucking race!!!” alibi easily accessible to Asian women: statistics show that most other racial groups do not want to date asian men. It’s a trend that has existed for who knows how long. Coincidence? Or are you and your clever dodging of having to own up perhaps the perfect reflection of such a traditional American trend?

See, you thought you were being witty by being in everyone’s face with your “in fact” racism, thinking that your unbashful public pronouncing of it would take the responsibility of prejudice off your shoulders. All you have done with this article is reinforced that White heterosexual men have the power, since it is these white men that defined the general (and sometimes disturbing) desirability of asian women. If THAT, my dear, isn’t considered support for traditional patriarchy (it’s a tradition for White heterosexual men to be at the top. Do you deny this?), I’m not sure anymore what is.

Hey. You want to be “liberated”? I suggest you this: start learning to see Asian men as a desirable option and starting dating them. This isn’t about your parents not letting you date outside your race, nor is it about distancing yourself from the model minority image and what else have you. Those are excuses, and I think you’re well aware of it: you don’t want to date asian men, because you don’t like the way they look. It’s what American media has taught you about Asian men. You’re goddamn right racism has “fucked [you] up”. So, what should your first step be? Let it stop with you, so that future women, asian or otherwise, do not continue this hurtful unecessary traditional notion that Asian American men are inpreferable. As you say, you have the freedom “because you can”. So then, do it.”


Susan O'Brien September 3, 2016 at 4:58 am

I am a white woman and I will never date an Asian man again
They’re here in Ireland and are looking to marry us for residency and use us for sex or after whatever material goods we have,our houses,our money
None of them are genuine,charming yes,genuine,no


Kana78 November 30, 2016 at 12:18 am

She can date or marry whoever she wants as long as she doesn’t have kids with a white guy especially sons. Most half asian children looks more asian that white, so her sons will grow up looking asian and she will despise her own children for looking asian just like the way she despises Asian men. Can you imagine psychological damages this will do a child? Growing up looking asian and being treated by society as asian with a father who doesn’t give a damn about him and a mother who hates him. Check out for real life experience on this matter.


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