Why Online Dating Is Racist and Unfair to Asian Men

by JT Tran · 89 comments


A man in the top 5 percentile of looks will pull less interest than a Plain Jane middle-of-the-distribution female, and for guys who do NOT cut model-level cheekbones and 6'0+ height, the statistics are far grimmer.

A man in the top 5 percentile of looks will pull less interest than a Plain Jane middle-of-the-distribution female, and for guys who do NOT cut model-level cheekbones and 6'0+ height, the statistics are far grimmer.

(Or why online dating for Asian men sucks but online dating for the women who love us is basically awesome).

In Freakonomics, it was calculated that Asian men had to make $247,000 more than a white male in order to get the same level of responses as a white man. Unfair? Hell yeah. You might even say internet dating is racist against Asian men.

There are also tons of studies on OKCupid which basically confirm that the playing field is unbalanced against Asian men when it comes to online dating. Now, I will say that, as long as you aren’t paying for any kind of website for online dating, and just passively meeting people through the internet, using just a fraction of the time that you allocate to actually socializing and meeting people in real life, then there’s nothing wrong with working both in parallel.

Unfortunately, I get way too many Asian men who think online dating is a shortcut, when, in all reality, it isn’t. You actually have to expend more time, effort and resources to be successful in online dating than you would in real life. Online dating is unfair to Asian men, because the chips are already stacked against you. And then, you actually have to meet the girl in real life – so if your social skills aren’t up to par because you spent all that time online, then you’re screwed.

NOTE: This refers to interracial online dating; Asian on Asian online dating is business as usual. It’s when you, as an Asian man, are trying to use internet dating as a way to open up your options to include women of all races and not just Asian women that AMs run into the discriminatory and, yes, racist nature of internet dating.

Some of you may be familiar with a few dating sites specifically catered towards Asian men and the women who love them. There are a number of websites where Asian men and women of all races chat, mingle and even meet up from time to time. Sounds neat, right?

To be perfectly frank, it’s a little depressing.

The women that frequent these sites tend to disagree with me on this one, but they are speaking from their experiences. Essentially, all they have to do is post a few good pictures, look cute, get on the webcam and just wait for the private messages to start rolling in.

Girls that are considered “regulars” are not going to date the first man that asks her out – they know they don’t have to just take what they can get because the men sometimes worship the ground they walk on.

Guys that have been around for a while know which girls are taken, hard to get, ones that need a little coercing to get into bed with them and which ones are nothing but drama. New girls that are simply gaga for Asian men are easy prey – but very rare; most will date an Asian guy but tend to date all races (typically their own). The cutest girls of the bunch, which would probably be like 6s or 7s in real life, are considered 9s and 10s on these sites, so your standards will fall a little if you exclusively go for these girls.

Another facet of dating on these sites is that the guys outnumber the girls four to one. If you thought your chances offline were bad, it’s worse on these sites. For one thing, the girls get hit on CONSTANTLY – anything you’re going to say to them has been said already, and probably several times that day. They save the funniest ones that really stand out as outrageous and post them on their Facebook for other frequenters to see.

They also claim to not take any real romantic interest in any of the guys there, so your chances are, again, lessened.

Even though it’s all online, it’s STILL going to be about looks. One of our AMWW featured writers, Heather, has this disclaimer on her Facebook – “Just because I date Asian guys doesn’t necessarily mean I will date YOU!” What she means is, even though she dates Asian guys, that doesn’t mean that any Asian guy will do the trick for her. Most girls on these sites dream of meeting a KPop star lookalike – a Rain, T.O.P. or Taeyang – not an average looking Asian guy.

So if you’re going into these sites thinking that all girls there love Asian guys and, therefore, you, there’s a huge wake-up call coming your way.

Research shows that Asian men get a response rate of 22% for internet dating vs. 29.9% for White men (OKtrends, 2011). As an unofficial social experiment, one of our former students, made two online profiles on a popular dating website that were identical albeit one difference – the race of the man pictured in the profile. Sure enough, his experiment yielded the same results – the white male received significantly more responses and remarks that the Asian male.

 It all boils down to science, really – many studies show that white women out of all the races of women show the clearest preference for dating their own race. That being said, there are enough studies to prove that very attractive women are open to dating any and all races. From my experience, the most attractive women I have ever had the pleasure of coming across rarely frequent online dating sites. Thus, the women that you actually have a real, honest chance with – the absolutely beautiful women you see every day, getting coffee, dancing at the club, or working at your campus bookstore (the really cute one, not the one that doesn’t brush her teeth) – are not the same women using dating sites.

There simply aren’t enough women in the WORLD who “who likes short Asian guys” to match the 1.3 Million Asian-American men. We need to go out there, meet and attract ALL women, regardless of (or in spite of) their preference. If a man sits around trying to find a white, black, or Latin girl with a “preference for Asian men” then he’s going to remain single and virginal for a very, Very, VERY long time.

It’s our job as men to increase our options and choice with women, not to limit ourselves to a small spectrum of them.

The great Wayne Gretzky has been immortalized with these words “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take”. If you continue to use these AM/XF dating sites as a crutch, you won’t know how to approach a woman in public or strike up a conversation in the mall because you never practiced. By taking that chance and just going for it, even if it ends in rejection, is still a chance at any number of possibilities.

If you absolutely MUST, try our Text To Sex program which includes a live example and transcript of how to cold approach a girl on the internet, talk to her, get her phone number and meet her in real life.

{ 89 comments… read them below or add one }

Brandon September 12, 2012 at 7:09 pm

Holy crap.

Not more of the same name calling blame game of unfair treatment because the guy is Asian.

Ever look at an ‘average’ Asian guy? They’re hideous with sense of style, no aura of presence and horrible social manners.

And posting two identical profiles with different pictures getting less hits because one is Asian? How f’ing true. Why even bother looking at this? I have never been on a more self hating self loathing site as this. It is almost like the people here are so disappointmented with their. Rash and burn in trying to hook up (or too scared) with beautiful women that the real reasons are not their own.

Here’s some free advice. You will not get with a beautiful girl if you are average. The guy has to be incredibly good looking as well. Or rich. Simple facts of life.

Keep in playing the race card guys. That leaves someone like me with more beautiful babes.

Oh, by the way. Anyone needing to hook up via singles websites are losers. It is fitting that losers are trying to get with losers.


anonymous September 23, 2012 at 9:55 pm


Stop trolling.


Tomas October 3, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Brandon, I agree with you wholeheartedly. At first, I was looking at this site and JTran as the saviours of my predicament, but I always felt that there was something forced and downright “desperate” in the whole covert and motivation for this site. Why can’t we just be content as Asian men pulling what we can with our Asian sisters and whoever would want to date us? Mos of the guys here I feel sorry for bc it seems like they go from being humble dudes who are a bit socially inept but still likeable to becoming cheesy douchebags.


Brandon October 3, 2012 at 2:48 pm

EVERYTHING about this site, in my opinion, teaches and encourages superficiality, fakeness and insecurity.

While it may seem like one is teaching how to meet (white) girls, it really is about instilling insecurity and a sense of ineptness before trying to train them to be cool and hip to (white) girls. That’s what i would do if i were trying to make money from doing this for a living. I can make pretty much anyone feel small and insecure. Then, through a dash of magic, make them believe in everything I have to say as undeniable truth.

Well, it may work for some. But I wouldn’t be surprised one bit if the failure rate is super high in the long run. Why? Because, in my opinion, what is being taught is not natural for the guy’s personal journey, charisma etc etc etc.

Why are asians guys ‘desperate’ to want to be with ‘white’ women? What is the big deal? I never could understand the draw solely based on ethnicity. I am with a girl because of who she is. Not what she is.


anonymous October 3, 2012 at 8:02 pm

You’re absolutely right Brandon, the guy is the one that needs to attract the woman and not the other way and that’s what this website is about! Your contradicting yourself by hating your own people, if you really are asian yourself, who knows, and quite frankly no one gives a crap…you’re beating a dead horse with your nonsensical comments!


brandondickhead November 16, 2012 at 2:11 am

dude, why are you even here in this in the first place????


ulfric September 14, 2012 at 7:27 am

I know you guys dont like your portrayal and such, but why are you all so obsessed with white women? You guys have it rather easy, believe it or not, when it comes to dating. You guys have a subculture of white girls (weabos/hipster chicks) if you want instant lay. Not to mention white men are labeled with “asiaphile” if they date more than one asian girl, but asian men can get with as many white girls as they want. Why do you guys really feel the need to fight an imbalance that is not really there?


anonymous September 23, 2012 at 9:38 pm


What a sad comment this is lol.


ulfric October 15, 2012 at 2:22 pm

And yet you have no answer


DefEnder November 2, 2012 at 7:20 pm

Did you not just read this article?


Dave June 21, 2015 at 9:41 pm

@Ulfric – No offense, but are you saying that most of the Asian men who comment on this article or otherwise have problems dating are suffering some sort of mass delusion? lol Geez, dude. Or maybe all the articles and studies about this problem are all fabricated. I mean, really. Come on, dude.


Schlonger September 15, 2012 at 10:33 am

Cool article. Been on Plenty of Fish recently as an Asian dude. Been getting pretty good responses.


kp September 15, 2012 at 1:01 pm

What if you do look like a K-Pop guy?


alexander September 15, 2012 at 10:23 pm

I don’t do online dating, In order to engage with a small conversation, I rather to face to face talking to her ! she likes me or not ! Well, god knows it ! LOL


brandon September 18, 2012 at 11:52 am


I had to look up what the hell K pop is.

Give me Guns and Roses, Nirvana, Beethoven, Mozart and The Beatles any day.

Anyone, guy or girl that is into that superficial crap is not even remotely worth talking to let alone dating.

The guys are effeminate emasculated pseudomen. Any girl that wants that in a guy wants a chick not a guy.

And by the way, I naturally look better than any K pop ‘star’. No make up needed, fancy haircut while being taller and much better built. Winning the genetics lottery helps. But most of who I am came over being who I was.

Any ‘guy’ thinking they need to look like a K ‘crap’ boy to get a a girl will get one. Only she will be inflatable or in the shape of a fleshlight.


Hotter September 19, 2012 at 7:12 pm

Hey Brandon, if you’re so hot, why don’t you dare to show your photo?


Brandon September 21, 2012 at 5:20 pm

No need for me to do that nor do I even care about pleasing you or anyone.

How hot can someone be? A person behind the counter made a comment to my girl saying ‘Where did you find him? Model.com?

It’s too bad that you feel threatened that there are people out there that just exude attraction.


Anonymous September 23, 2012 at 9:25 pm


Why do you have so much hate for this site…now stop that! Stop trolling! Obviously you’re angry about something, why don’t you tell us what’s it’s about? Why do you even care to post on this site if you think you’re so effing hot? I admit this site is selfish, but it’s selfish in a positive way. You’re being selfish in a negative way like the people on the stormfront.org.


Brandon October 2, 2012 at 11:00 am

It’s not hate. It is more pity for the self inflicted psychological stress that insecure asian men put on themselves.

The overwhelming majority of people are average. Hence the term. I will subjectively guesstimate that there are at best 5% beautiful men and women in this world. Unless you are in that 5%, you are not going to be with a smoking hot babe just on your own merits. You will need to believe in yourself, have confidence and have money. Yes. You will need money. Not a stinking amount. But enough to take her out to eat at nice places and buy her clothes and whatever.

beautiful girls don’t need average shmoes. They don’t even need beautiful guys. They prefer half decent looking guys with some extra spending money.

I am not selling you anything. The truth always hurt when you are not in the league you want to be in. Life isn’t fair.

Thom September 26, 2012 at 1:13 pm

Just to be clear Brandon, a person who says things that openly aren’t complimenting you, they’re patronizing you. NO ONE says things like that (ESPECIALLY in front of, a so-called girlfriend) unless they’re over the age of 60, in which case they probably are impressed that your skin is still intact.


Brandon October 2, 2012 at 11:10 am


No need to worry about me. At over 6′ tall, broad shoulders and a model in my younger days. I already know I am good looking. I get hit on constantly by girls (and guys). I start domestic quarrels as other SO’s check me out a little too long.

It made my girlfriend smile because she is the one who almost always gets complimented on how smoking beautiful she is. I’ve gotten used to it.

Top that off with me being educated to the max, having a killer personality, charisma and a very successful career where I am loved and respected. I am a pretty tough package to ignore.

Too bad that you (and others like you) are so wound up in your self pity that the only way you know how to cope is to disbelieve and denigrate to protect your thin shell of fantasy.

As for my ‘so called girlfriend’. Well, she has been with me for years now. Makes Megan Fox look average and has the most amazing personality for any person I have ever met. Average or super hot.

admiral September 24, 2012 at 11:44 pm


You’re so pathetic you can’t even show your face to defend your comments you spineless slug!


Brandon October 2, 2012 at 1:29 pm

I love it. Absolutely love it when people call me names. What it tells me and shows me is how incredibly insecure and lacking in self confidence one truly is.

I have absolutely no need to reveal my appearance to defend my statements. In this day and age of identity theft, cyber bullying etc etc etc. I have the luxury of being anonymous: Just like YOU!!!

The only difference is that YOU don’t like the words being written. Why? Because they hit a nerve with YOU. It makes YOU insecure, small etc etc etc.

Well. too bad. It is of zero concern for me on how YOU feel. I could care less. If it bothers YOU so much that I am so braggidocious, then do something about it. Be a F’ing man for once and grow some balls to be significant in life, to stop masturbating to internet porn and trying to get to the next level of some inane video game that losers only delve into.

I may be lucky in the genetic lottery but most of who I am is from hard work. I am far from the exception.

You know what swag is? All this bullshit that JT teaches is swag. The appearance of substance. It is superficial and fake. It gets you only so far.

Someone like me who is naturally beautiful and has substance behind him (education, culture, sophistication, intelligence, career, money, status) is an impossible force to stop. I can walk into any room and dress like a bum and take any girl that you are holding on regardless of what car you drive or what clothes you are wearing. Guaranteed.


DefEnder November 2, 2012 at 8:12 pm

Rip Slyme, The pillows, nujabes, suneohair, kung fu generation, PIA, TraX, Cymbal, hermann H & the pacemakers, and Hashinoto Yukari. Sure, name some bands that aren’t even of a single ethnic group, or genre even attack just koreans and pop music. And you love it when people call you names? You pretty much already insulted every single asian by saying, “Why are asians guys ‘desperate’ to want to be with ‘white’ women? ” “Ever look at an ‘average’ Asian guy? They’re hideous with sense of style, no aura of presence and horrible social manners.” and well, pretty much all of what you went on about kpop. How can you not expect anyone not to get infuriated at you? and even if you end up looking like some average white guy buzzcut hair dude, do you realize how bland that is? How unoriginal? And have you not seen how attractive “slanted” eyes can really be? They most likely look better groomed than you. You are just too full of yourself. And from your attitude, i feel you are dating more of the skanky, slutty, whore-ish type of women. Any more form you won’t even convince to turn the other cheek now. You’re only in denial of how the world would see asian men as. But since the majority of the non-asian population is pretty like you, this argument isn’t about our appearance. It’s about how the world views us over all. The stereotypes put together in unison that all races want to believe about asians. The fight to keep your white supremacy at high defence. The continuation of the aftermath whites have done in history to asian countries. The concreting and sealing of what the latino parts defend and enforce, to become closer to whites. And blacks optimism to starting to measure up to high white standards starting with the a black president. These are pillars that stand to fight against asian men, and the men only. Because the women are nothing but trophy rewards to all of you. You white devils are nothing but poison in this world, killing the huge fraction of the world that is motivated to see what is true moral. I can keep rambling on like how you would with the topics this article didn’t even speak of. So come on. Bring it on. Be the 50% that attacks mostly asian men. Bring us down more. Or just start the war.


Brandon November 4, 2012 at 9:34 am

One word: Did not read the one giant paragraph.


yangxifu September 30, 2012 at 9:27 am

I don’t quite get what this obsession with white women is. And then to blame Asian women for picking white men over their own? Sorry, but its hypocrisy. I know u mention other races, but it feels like you add them there for PC value only. Then you mention these inbreeding stats about white women. Actually if you look at the stats, South Asian and Middle Eastern women are the MOST likely to marry within their kind and actually prefer that. They are the reason why the asian stats arent as extreme as when you look at just east asian dating examples.

I dont have anything against online dating. Not every girl thinks its ok to be picked up at bars, some do want to graduate from that level. However I agree with your points that using the race card in any circumstance has its pitfalls and is honestly not attractive. Common interest groups and common friends are a good way of meeting people too. And you may actually meet someone unexpected, who may/may not belong to the “preferred” race.


anonymous October 1, 2012 at 8:30 am

He’s not blaming asian women, and this is not about obsession with white women…where did you get that theory? Asian men are marginalized the most. Even Roger Ebert pointed that out when he was criticizing The Last Airbender movie cast.


Brandon October 2, 2012 at 2:04 pm

The name of this website is ‘asian man’ ‘WHITE woman’.

If the name of the website isn’t an indication of how obsessed the guys here are with white women, then I don’t know what is.


anonymous October 3, 2012 at 7:44 pm

Like I mentioned earlier, you can view this site as being selfish but it’s selfish in a positive way, you’re being selfish in a negative way like so many people on stormfront.org website. This site isn’t excluding other nationalities, both JT and Heather have said that in their youtube videos and blogs if you just care the time to read and watch. This site is inclusive, where as stormfront.org is exclusive. Also, JT has another site http://www.abcsofattraction.com.


anonymous October 3, 2012 at 9:10 pm



anonymous October 3, 2012 at 11:01 pm

Also, asians only make about 5 or 6 percent in the U.S. I honestly don’t understand why people like Brandon are so bigoted towards asian guys…he’s scared.


Brandon October 4, 2012 at 8:22 pm

I love trolling. If you call what I write trolling.

I simply write the truth. And believe me, I am not scared of you or any body who doesn’t have the balls to be themselves.

It’s too bad for YOU that what I write is offensive to YOU. Nothing you say will ever offend me because your comments are for someone who can’t even score with a girl who is paid to be a sure thing.

Until YOU and others like YOU stop blaming others for your short comings, you will be exactly where you are today. Clueless and girl less.

If you think what I write is offensive. You should hear what the girls are laughing about when you go up to them and get rejected. Yet again. I am very nice in comparison.

And to answer your question on why I am so bigoted towards Asian guys in the US? Because if you see yourself as Asian. You are Asian. If you have no idea what I am talking about. That’s your own problem that you will most likely discover on your own.

Just take a quick look at all your “Asian” friends around you. Are they naturally charismatic, funny and good looking? No? Then that is how YOU look as well. Birds of a feather flock together. Good luck being a loser while hanging with your loser friends.


anonymous October 6, 2012 at 2:37 pm

You know, it’s people like you (minority or not), you’re getting in the way of social progress. There are some asians working in the entertainment industry that refuse to represent their fellow asians (even stories that are asian roles) and they say the same exact thing what your saying. In fact, there was this one asian woman that just kept going on and on to Justin Lin when he was promoting his film “Better Luck Tomorrow” about how he could’ve made more money but that wasn’t the whole point why chose to produce the film. He was making a political statement that asians have balls and they can do whatever they want instead of just being reduced to caricatures like Han from “Two Broke Girls.” In fact, I remember one time watching a film critic talking to Ebert about Justin Lin’s film and how he was telling Ebert “that’s not how asian people are” and Ebert angry replied “asians can do whatever they want!”

I live in a very liberal city and even here, living as an asian guy, respect has to be earned. There have been many times where I felt not as welcome compared to my caucasian friends, but once they found out how nice and talented I am, they respected me so much that some of them have become very close friends of mine.
I really don’t care for your negative attitude and I even have some conservative friends (believe it or not) but I don’t dare talk to them about religion or politics as long as I work hard, help them out when they are in need (and they’ve helped me out so much as well). Sometimes they do make fun of me being asian and all (only as being sarcastic though) but I still consider them my friends because they don’t hate.
Growing up I really resented my sister, she was always making fun of me being short and always picking on me for helping poor kids because she felt so embarrassed because she was the popular mean girl with no brain. She barely graduated high school, while I excelled because I worked so hard and was nice to everyone despite the struggles with name calling that I got just about everyday.

The whole point I’m making is this, there’s no simple right or wrong, black and white. Like what you mentioned people shouldn’t care so much about race, but there is always going to be some kind of struggle (whether you believe or not) usually from jealousy. My advice for you is this, DON’T GET IN THE WAY!


anonymous October 6, 2012 at 4:02 pm

I forgot to mention when that asian woman was complaining to justin lin, I meant to add “white” actors that she just kept going on and on that he could’ve made more money. And by the way I don’t have asian friends. All my friends are caucasian, I grew up in a predominantly caucasian neighborhood. Also I was popular too growing up besides my sister but it had to earned unlike my sister. I’m good looking too like Daniel Henney and I have a college degree.

Brandon October 6, 2012 at 4:21 pm

Wait a sec.

You mean that you can only get positive reinforcement from the media?

How old are you? 12?

But since you think ‘Asians’ are being poorly represented in the media.

You might to think about the directors Ang Lee and Tom Woo. Along with Chow Yun Fat who did some pretty decent western movies.

ALL your comments smack of extreme insecurity and pure self loathing. The problem isn’t society. It is YOU!

I have said this time and time again. Have you ever seen a white guy in a chinese movie. He is portrayed as stupid, smelly and lazy. So, where is YOUR defense for the white guy in this movie? What? No? Then YOU are the RACIST!!!

But enough of stupid superficial movies and onto what irks you.

Honestly. I don’t care about the pain and psychological stress that you went through growing up and feeling that you were discriminated against. That is your own problem that doesn’t affect me or the world.

Your issues are self created. And, you sound like a pussy.

To quote “Team America”. Dicks fuck pussies.

As for you living in a liberal city and it still takes effort on your part to garnish respect. Well, I live in a super ‘white’ conservative city and takes zero effort for me when it comes to respect. So what does this say about you and all your hard work? Yeah, it’s called being a sucker.

And by the way, your ‘don’t get in the way’ comment makes zero sense as I read nothing but ‘jealousy’ and ‘bitterness’ in what you write.

jr October 6, 2012 at 1:48 am

Rain is not good looking. K-Pop……..whatever.


Andy October 7, 2012 at 1:01 pm

Brandon you’re not an asian guy so STOP PRETENDING TO BE!! You are an insecure white guy bullying asian guys because you’re are jealous!!!!!! Even Jeremy Lin has been bullied while he was in Harvard!!!


Brandon October 8, 2012 at 10:08 pm

Pretty much every article on this website and the people here who believe and support it are the most racist and insecure group I have ever encountered.

The constant bombardment of the racial differences disguised as being helpful promotes nothing but insecurity, pathological self consciousness and extreme negative self image.

You are right. I am not Asian. I have already said that. My parents are from China but they are now American. I consider myself American. Not because I am trying to be a banana. Not because I have Asian loathing. But because I live and exist in America. If I wanted to be ‘ Asian’ then I need to go to ‘Asia’ and live.

By constantly considering myself as ‘Asian’, I am doing nothing but segregating and isolating myself from society while continually finding false solace in ‘me being Asian’.

By the way, if I am ‘white’. What is there to be jealous of Asian guys. By reading the patheticness of the Asian guys here, I have nothing to be jealous about.


Andy December 7, 2012 at 2:32 am



Andy December 7, 2012 at 12:36 pm

When I said you are white, I was saying you’re making the same bullying remarks by white supremacists to put down minorities. I’m one of those asians that don’t have any asian friends, I live in a small town where there aren’t a whole lot of asians around. All my friends are either white, latin, or black.

Also Brandon, I can tell you’re lying about racism because Jeremy Lin (who’s tall himself) grew up as an all-American, he was a star basketball player in his high school and yet he was ignored by colleges for basketball. NBA finally accepted him but only after Harvard. And even in Harvard he was taunted with racial remarks when he was playing. Even playing in the NBA he was still taunted, Heather made a blog about it, how do you justify that when you keep saying you have had zero problems with racism, especially in the south you said you grew up?? YOU’RE LYING!!!! Jeremy Lin is exactly what a wholesome white conservative families holds high regards to, considering Lin himself is religious like Tebo but do you think Tebo got the same racial taunts like Lin…HOW THE HELL DO YOU JUSTIFY THAT???????!!!!!!!!! You’re not being a man with your bullying.


givengo October 9, 2012 at 9:38 am

Fellow Asian Guys,

So, my personal gripe is that I have used dating sites on and off, but my dating life has been pretty busy up until recently (just moved to a place don’t know anyone). During the time I had girlfriends, I never changed my single status but removed my face from the thumbnail so I wouldn’t be so prominently advertising during these times, but still a decent amount of hits would come through and I’d go on there to look at the “strange” passing by as I was in my monogamous relationships.

Fast forward to a time when I am now single again, I put my face back in the picture and show the world my beautiful asian face. I’ve done quite well dating over the years. 90% of my relationships have been biracial with beautiful women of all color. I really try to appreciate people for who they are inside, and appreciate the different cultures I’ve encountered in my very lucky love life. My other stats include being athletic, taller than average for the US, with some fantastic degrees, and the kind of work experience that proves I’m a man that’s going places. Some of my rather sluttier ex-gfs have told me I’m either the best f*$& they’ve ever had or at the top of the list somewhere (who knows if they were telling any kind of truth, haha). Still when my asian face is prominently posted on my profile page, how many girls are stopping by to take a look, even to get to know me? Most days, ZERO. Never even given a chance.I’ve encountered racism during in person pickups, but online it seems to be extreme.

Over the years I’ve come to realize just how horrible women in the dating world can be. I once laid in bed post coitus with a girlfriend watching mens gymnastics on the olympics, and she started going on a rant about how pathetic these men are because they are short. “But honey, they are olympians, they are more accomplished than you or I will ever be…” Nope, they were short, and therefore worthless as men in her eyes. I knew then that I would break up with her. For a girl who was fun, beautiful, wealthy, and extremely intelligent, she had horrible values and I won’t tolerate that. But she is not alone, this is pervasive. Race is just another way women are extremely superficial and hypocritical. I once met a handsome guy, who was a US Naval Officer, personable and charming, and otherwise handsome. I leaned over to a white lady friend of mine and said, “hey, this guy is really cool, you should give him your number” to which she responded, “oh, I’ve never dated a brown guy, and I’m not into that.” So the guy happened to be Indian American, and despite his “game” and his accomplishments, this white female friend of mine (whom I’d generously rate a 5 at best, if she was hotter I’d be after her myself, haha) completely discounted all of his accomplishments and honors because he was brown. Well, needless to say I stopped talking to this person, and she’s always wondered why, but I’ll never tell her racist ass. Maybe she’ll grow as a person and figure it out someday.

I’ve realized that it really doesn’t matter what I do to women romantically because they are mostly fucked up to begin with. Take this scenario (which isnt outlandish): A guy goes into a bar, tells a girl he’s worth over 10 million, and she sleeps with him in the hopes of getting her hands on that. In fact, all he’s got is a nice pad and 100K in debt, but he got the girl. Should he feel bad? Of course not, the girl was sleeping with him for money to begin with. In fact, with the way women are openly prostituting themselves, or race grubbing for a particular type of guy that society says is most acceptable and the type that will bring you the most privilege, you shouldn’t feel bad about lying or cheating with women who are gold digging and racist.

BUT, my Asian brothers, there is something we can do in the meantime. POISON THE ONLINE DATING WELL. So, shut down your old profiles, start new ones with the exact same info, but this time post pictures of white people from your photo collections, or take them from the internet. Whatever. See how your game runs if you were a shade lighter. Let some racist girls fall in love with your personality. Then, you can either stand them up or reveal that you’re asian. whatever. Or just stop talking to them. When you go through this exercise, you’ll see what its like to be considered along with all the other “normals” in this society, and realize how much of a handicap you’ve been operating under. You can then stop blaming yourself, and understand the hypocrisy of this society. This is also an effective “F@#$ You” to a society that neither wants you nor cares for you.

(OK, note here that alot of you Asian guys need to learn how to talk to women and get some game. Be your own judge as to how much of it is your fault for not being smooth. But, even when you got it, like I do, its still not as easy as just being white and sitting on your ass, as the data shows)

After this exercise, you’ll realize as I have, that its not worth trying to change this country, and its time to find better pastures with people with better values. Go to Canada (Vancouver really), or Asia. Consider moving to Hawaii. Europe even (but to a lesser degree). But America, the racial melting pot, is absolutely one of the worst for racism in dating, and not worth the time to change it. Enjoy your young years and your life, and don’t waste them rotting in this racist country that’s about to go under. There’s half a world full of people with better values that will appreciate you for who you are. Good luck and god speed to you all.


TK October 10, 2012 at 4:40 pm

To all:
Brandon is NOT insulting fellow Asians. What he’s talking about is a mis-perception of most of “white American females” that will NEVER accept you as an equal since there is little to no game you can run on them that will get you the smoking hot girl that you deserve. Sure, there are exceptions. But this is NOT the norm.
Recently I’d went out with a South American woman who was raised in the U.S. She went out with me but had this to say “I never gave Asian guys a chance because they seemed…meek.” I’m not completely sure what that meant, other than kindness is mistaken for weakness. But I think we all need to realize our value. Most of us have great jobs, great education and great family. This said, flaunt it. Make sure people know you’re far more valuable to women you find attractive. Make them feel you are better person without them. Envision these loser women to keep getting the frog. Get that ego going and value yourself above these women who are not in your league. Think about it…most white girls have HUGE issues. Let me rephrase that…most WOMEN have huge issues. When I discovered how much more valuable I am to them, that’s when things changed.

I would not want to know the truth that that dating world reveals. Why? Because those women who don’t respond to you, DON’T respond to a LOT of guys. Read blogs about dating sites and you’ll realize, it’s not really about you or your race, it’s about the women and their ego. Keep it light. We’re better than that. They need to “earn” you and not the other way.


Brandon October 11, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Holy Cow!!!

I can’t believe that there is actually a guy in this arena that knows what I am talking about!

Every nail, you spoke of, was hit squarely on the head.

Asian men, in general, are very ‘meek’ and ‘timid’. And a lot of them are ‘nice’. Guys think that being ‘nice’ will get them to home plate. Well, it doesn’t. I gets you put directly into the friend zone to be used over and over again.

I have said it so many times. I have never pursued a woman. Women pursue me. They want to be with me. Why? Because of so many factors but it all boils down to the fact that I have a lot of desirable qualities and I know it.

Trying to put me down or tell me that I am jealous or an asshole does absolutely nothing to my well being. All it does is reveal what an insecure loser you are.

So, stop being a loser. If you are ugly and short. Make something of yourself. Be someone of significance. An ugly short guy has a good chance of being someone pretty. Just don’t expect a supermodel to fall madly in love with you because you love dungeons and dragons.


TK October 12, 2012 at 10:43 am

another thought I’d be kicking around, is that maybe our own successes have been detrimental to our mindset. I think of it like this…most Asians have a stable job with stable income. Did well in school. Life a comfortable life, if not successful.

I’ve been rejected hundreds of time by women. Rejection in Asian terms equates to failure. And failure is just too hurtful to the pride to live with. We’re not use to rejection b/c it defies our natural logic. It doesn’t compute as we’re so determined to be successes. So most of us Asians go for “the sure thing” so that we don’t have to taste that failure. Guess what? Despite what goes on in our minds rejection does not kill you. Sure, it sux balls, but so does being alone whining about how women don’t give you the time of day.
Recently I approached a group of women about joining them for drinks at a bar. They both declined, as one was married and the other had a b/f. This is what she said “it was really cool of you to come up to us.” At no point did she think it sleazy or smarmy. Rejection noted. Carry on with life. Did I die? Nope. Was it awkward? At first, but I moved on.
You have to accept failure. That means a LOT of rejection. They become great stories, btw. So go out there and put your balls on the line.


Matt November 11, 2012 at 3:47 am


I know what you’re saying because I have white friends who are gung ho and just asks all the time. They get rejected a lot but there’s times where they do get laid, although it takes a ton of tries. Some women will get irritated because I had a friend that was always asking and I can tell the women he was asking just wanted to be left alone.

You don’t necessarily have to keep asking, women get hit on so many times (even the ugly ones). You can make them be attracted to you (which this site is about) if you have some kind of talent like a musician or a comedian, or something that makes them interested.

Also, you’re supposed to amplify whenever you get a chance to talk to a female (even if they’re seeing someone, you have to make them attracted to you, don’t be your boring self). Like I mentioned, one of my white friends didn’t care if a girl he was hitting on was already seeing someone and sometimes, he gets successful and brings her to his place.

And I do want to mention Brandon was insulting asians and I really don’t understand what he expects from bullying. Does he really think people aren’t going to be bothered by his irritating remarks?

Matt November 10, 2012 at 11:41 pm

No Brandon you were bullying just like what I was doing in my older posts when I got angry at myself. Only difference was that I was making up lies to make white women look bad, which I feel very sorry about. I changed my attitude because I didn’t want to keep bullying people around, it does nothing. We all understand what you’re talking about Brandon. We get it, working for yourself and not allowing yourself to be too nice just to get tail, everyone gets that, however, the way you were posting was mean spirited and basically like what I was saying “bullying,” which is kind of odd because this site is not a hate site, but more of a site to uplift oneself (motivation site). Yeah it has the words asian man and white woman, but so what, what’s the big deal? This site isn’t saying to hate other races. Where in this site does it say to hate or even imply to hate other races?


Matt November 11, 2012 at 12:33 am

There is nothing wrong with being nice, I don’t know anyone that doesn’t like nice people, it’s when you force yourself to be overly nice when you don’t have to can be a total turnoff because you’re not being your true self regardless if you’re a male or female. There have been many times women have been overly nice to me because I can tell they were attracted to me even though I wasn’t attracted to them.


KpopBlastingIT March 25, 2014 at 9:55 pm

I like Asian men, and it is their personality I like. I have over 154 men who I am friends with. I listen, I help them with their English and I don’t car if they have money or do have money. If i were blind would I care who i was eating dinner with. I look at the inside of a person and some handsome men, white, Black, Hispanic and many more are very ugly inside. race is a color and if you let it get to you then, it will tear you down.
Be proud of being Asian and if you prefer a girl other then Asian, try to see how she answers certain questions. Then you will know what kind of person she is.
i am an exception to the rule. I get along well with every one, if you seem creepy and act strange. I will ignore you,or ask what you need.
I am never rude or hateful. Some men are shy, so am I. Then a person will never meet there one and only.
I want to know if there is at least one guy of any race that will treat a female, who deserves to be treated with respect. I was in a 18 year relationship, and took care of the man very well. I never once thought of any one else, because that was how I was raised. i have been only with 3 men in my life. So how hard do you think it is for me to get back into dating?
The dating sites online are a joke. The pictures are mostly all fake. I live where there are no men, all are taken, and I am not one to mess with what is not mine. So any real men who like to have a real conversation, with a real human being please stand up and take notice of one person here, who is me, who will respect and like you for you. Thank you


Matt November 10, 2012 at 11:54 pm

Even though Brandon was trying to make a point, he was more bullying and going about it in a mean spirited way which is annoying to read considering this site is a motivation site and not a hate site.


Kieran Tsao August 23, 2013 at 9:36 am

your logic is really sound, that none of the accomplishments matter for many women (white and otherwise) – looks is what matters.

you can easily see this with asian women – they don’t care about accomplished asian men, who have to pull out all the stops to be considered a suitor – whilst a deadbeat white guy – not even attractive in his own right – doesn’t have to make any effort and still get sex. For most women on this planet, it is not personality, accomplishments, even beauty – it is being white that counts.


JDog November 26, 2013 at 4:08 am

i feel you on this one bro


John Ten April 18, 2014 at 3:49 pm

I don’t always respond, but when I do, I drink to that my givengo Asian brother. LOL

I will create a world wide storm in pornographic industry with Asian men having incredible sex with the most beautiful women of all races, especially White and Asian females because that’s the turf that need to be won.

Then substitute commercials with Asian men on alcoholic and sexiness images. It may take generations but let us be remembered as the “forefathers” of Asian men revolution.


pay dowy October 23, 2012 at 10:20 pm

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Dvorah November 21, 2012 at 2:40 am

I’m a white girl of very mixed ethnicities… part french, italian, greek, austrian, spanish, welsh, egyptian, romanian, swiss, bulgarian, polish, and am a buddhist jew, so I can’t really see racial lines – my eyes are mixed shades (blue-green-gray) and brown hair with both red and blonde natural highlights…. very varied in foods, music, movies, art, life and heart. I’ve been very fond of asian men my whole life… they are kind, funny, and very loyal… I just love being around asians in general because the culture is rich in spirituality and beauty… most of my friends girls and guys are from asian countries – they are sweethearts and very dear to my heart… I just wish more asian men knew how much we like them… I’ve never dated, but I have a feeling my first will be an asian man…. and when I find the guy for me he’ll have a dedicated life partner.


Dave June 21, 2015 at 8:57 pm

@Dvorah – Thank you for sharing. Similar to what I posted above, the question is where are the single women that share your views? I’ve been single and in the dating scene for many years. Whether it is at church, the grocery store, the park, through mutual friends, and yes, even online, at no time have I ever encountered 1 (much less a group) of western women who expressed an interest in Asian men, much less even made eye contact and welcomed our approach.


Andy December 7, 2012 at 12:23 pm


Also Brandon, I can tell you’re lying about racism because Jeremy Lin (who’s tall himself) grew up as an all-American, he was a star basketball player in his high school and yet he was ignored by colleges for basketball. NBA finally accepted him but only after Harvard. And even in Harvard he was taunted with racial remarks when he was playing. Even playing in the NBA he was still taunted, Heather made a blog about it, how do you justify that when you keep saying you have had zero problems with racism, especially in the south you said you grew up?? YOU’RE LYING!!!! Jeremy Lin is exactly what a wholesome white conservative families holds high regards to, considering Lin himself is religious like Tebo but do you think Tebo got the same racial taunts like Lin…HOW THE FUCK DO YOU JUSTIFY THAT???????!!!!!!!!!


JamesL December 20, 2012 at 10:21 pm

I’m on OKcupid as we speak; no luck here so far.


onedamgoodlookingasiandude February 10, 2013 at 8:15 pm



onedamgoodlookingasiandude February 10, 2013 at 8:29 pm

I’ve read all of it, including everyone’s comment…wow…I normally don’t post, but I feel compelled to. Me: 6′, in shape, asian guy(no mistaking that I’m asian..slanted eyes), reasonably good looking. I have to say, I agree mostly with the author’s assessment. White girls just aren’t into asian guys….hot white girls…ya…forget about it. Sure there are exceptions…but mostly..hell no. An average looking white guy has much of a better chance than a good looking asian guy; moreover, an ugly looking black dude has even a better chance than both. This has been my experience and what I have seen. Solution — there really isn’t one…unless your in the position of power to change culture. This is the US culture in which we live and its going to be like this for a real long long time.


Racheal May 6, 2013 at 8:02 pm

I can’t believe what I am reading, idk how I came across this page, but my friends and myself have all dated hot Asians, and some nice Asian and some jerk Asians…. But Yes we are all white and have all dated Asians. Maybe try just walking up and buying us a drink.


Brandon September 7, 2013 at 1:05 pm


I have never ever bought a girl a drink. Nor will I ever buy a girl a drink.

Why? Because I have never needed to nor even felt the need to do so.

In fact, girls have bought drinks for me of all kind in trying to get my attention. I have never been impressed by any of these girls. And yes. They were good looking girls. It gets weird at times. This one girl I sat across at a sushi bar bought me oyster shooters (she wasn’t drunk) telling me that oysters are good for sex. I down them because, heck, they’re free!!! She then takes my hand and starts kissing the back of it and telling me that we should go. She was with her friends (guys and girls) and one of the guys goes to me ‘Dude, it is impossible to get in her pants. I don’t get it.’ She was good looking but she just do anything for me. I am super choosy with whom I have sex with.

I truly do not know what it is. Girls just come to me without trying. This has been pretty much normal all my life. This is one of the reasons that my friends like to hang with me. But the problem is that the girls see me and give me attention only. Despite me trying to introduce them to my friends.

Oh, back to a guy buying a girls drinks. Don’t do it guys. Have it the other way around.


Li Feng October 12, 2013 at 6:21 pm

Nice Essay White Boy, too bad i dont read bullshitt, You know that PUA shitt only works on North American culture right?


Dave June 21, 2015 at 8:50 pm

@Racheal, absolutely. Would love to approach a girl who thinks Asian men are attractive, talk to her, get to know her, and have the privilege of treating her to a drink or coffee. Problem is….where are these women?? lol. Cuz I gotta tell ya, they ain’t here in Michigan.


Kman June 16, 2013 at 10:18 am

I rarely ever post anything online but I had to after reading the article and comments below. I was roommates once with a very average looking Asian guy who was about 5’6″ (He was born in Taiwan but moved to the states when he was a little kid) and this guy had more action with hot woman (of all races but especially white) than anyone I ever personally have known (and I know this because my room was above his so unfortunately I often heard the action going on). I on the other hand am now in my 30’s, am white, have always been considered someone with exceptionally good looks (just setting the scene here, not trying to be arrogant), yet I’ve only kissed a few girls in my lifetime and have been physically intimate with even less.

So why is this you ask? Well I believe a poster below hit the nail on the head and it has little to do with the physicality of race (but maybe cultural behavioral tendencies). “Meekness is often confused with weakness”. I have always had a gentle and kind-hearted demeanor.. it seems I was born this way and I’ve always been very secure in who I am. People who meet me often say things like “wow, he’s an incredibly nice guy”, or “he is very sweet”. They don’t say things like, “wow he’s bad ass” or “he’s really cool”.

My Asian roommate on the other hand was an arrogant jerk. He enjoyed putting people down and seemed threatened when it came to me even though I was always really nice to him. He cussed like a sailor and often needed deoderant.. yet when it came to the ladies.. he had absolutely no problems! The last thing he could be described as was meek. He was very bold and not afraid to speak his mind. He also took a lot of solo travel trips around the world which I think made him appear adventerous, unafraid, and plentyful with money. He would blog and facebook all his adventures and for a young guy he had a lot of experiences. However with all that under his belt, to me he was simply an abnoxious jerk and his travels didn’t seem to make him any better of a person. I on the other hand am not big on traveling but definitey take advantage of my surroundings in California and live an active and fit lifestyle.

So in summary, based on my experience living with this unique individual, I feel confident in saying that when it comes to dating, success has nothing to do with whether you’re Asian or not or how good looking you are. It has to do with how bold you are in displaying your confidence. Notice that I didn’t say “being confident”.. I’m a confident guy in many ways, but I’ve never been one to BOLDLY DISPLAY it. It basically comes down to whether you display bravado or not. Some men naturally have it, many fake it, and some (like me) don’t understand it.

I’m now in my 30’s, white, I havn’t been physically intimate in over 5 years, yet I’m succesful, handsome, fit, and considered a nice guy. So let this sink into your reality a bit. I wish all of you good luck, but above all may you make this world a better place by your existence. Peace out.



Dave June 21, 2015 at 8:46 pm

There is a certain limit that confidence can achieve. All the swag in the world doesn’t prevent black men from being hated by certain groups, period.

There is a certain limit that confidence can achieve. All the swag in the world doesn’t prevent black men from being hated by certain groups, period.


Anon July 7, 2013 at 9:50 am

Ha if you think Asians have it bad. Try indians. They come dead last.


Kieran Tsao August 23, 2013 at 1:50 pm

ive seen quite a few indians, pakistanis (called asians in europe) get together with white girls, so not true.


Brandon August 18, 2013 at 12:31 am


I am now thoroughly convinced that JT is extremely racist, biased and has no interest in helping ‘asian’ men find security, confidence and…love.

The pew study, not some bogus ‘freakonomics’ “blog”, at least does some objective investigation.


It shows that asian male/white woman marriage is the least common but has the highest combined income (along with the highest divorce rate. Followed by white male/asian female and then asian male/asian female.

In fact, asians are the highest earners in all three categories despite asians only making up about 5% of the US population.

Asians also dominate the couple education scene. Occupying the top three again.

But. I do not see the $247k that asian males need to make more than a white male to be with or get the attention of a white woman.

Here’s a tip. How about you (the loser asian/non-asian guy) be comfortable with who you are. F the ‘game’ bullshit because a ‘game’ always results in a winner and a loser. And people’s lives are not a game.

Being with a ‘white’ woman is the furthest thing from being a big deal. Being with a super hot girl is the furthest thing from being excellent.

Being with an intelligent, funny and loving person is far far far more important. The hotness of the girl is a bonus. And until YOU see that, you will be stuck in front of a monitor playing world of warcraft.


Kieran Tsao August 23, 2013 at 9:32 am

i’ve been online dating as an asian in a white country for a year or so now, one clear observation in the dating scene:

white girls who will consider dating asian men will consider dating any man. or women. they tend to be sexually liberal.

whereas asian girls who consider white men (thats all of them then), mostly do NOT consider dating other men, INCLUDING asian men. The few that do are like above, they will consider dating any man.

another damaging thing is that a lot of people on the internet (perpetuated by white guys obviously, but their influence is so broad that white women and even asian women are starting to believe it) say that asian women don’t like asian men because they have small dicks… but if asian women go for white men straight off, how on earth would they know?


Come forth Christ October 12, 2013 at 6:04 pm

Whites will pay for their hyprocrisy, by thermal nuclear fire or ethnic cleansing. Their sins have reached the heavens. I do not make this judgement, the scriptures and signs do. I will try to pray for you all Amen.

If you think black men are running through white women now, the accuser/satan has much more plans in place for the anglo and other europeans ethnic groups in North America.


JDog November 26, 2013 at 3:51 am

Alright I laughed at this, but partly because I guess I kind of wish this happens LOL


JDog November 26, 2013 at 3:34 am

I am an Asian guy who has read all of the comments here and I’ll give my thoughts and opinion on this subject, as well as share my own personal, personal experience in life (did I mention it’ll be a bit too personal)?

I’m 25, I’m a 100% straight male, and I’ve had pretty much no sexual experience in my own life (technically I have but I won’t get into that if you know what I mean LOL). I’ve tried online dating for a few months now, and out of the 120 or so white women that I have messaged since I began (I messaged various asian, black, and hispanic girls as well), only ONE, I repeat, ONE white female, responded. For those who are curious as to what I look like, here’s a link http://imgur.com/PcYl2X1 . I’ve been told by a lot of people that I’m a fairly good looking guy. I’m not the best looking Asian dude, and I’m kind of short (5’7) and I’m not built with muscle in any way, but yeah you get the point. The fact that I have a hideously low response rate from white females makes me wonder if they do in fact not give a shit about Asian dudes.

So about the one girl who responded to me – I actually ended up going on two dates with her and she wanted to be my girlfriend (and then a few days later she started acting very weird and I had to stop seeing her). She was actually kind of pretty and had a very nice body imo.

But here’s the thing. She stated to me that she was pretty much only into Asian guys and would only date Asians exclusively. She was into Asian culture, and learned a little bit of Chinese and Korean, and she was also exceptionally smart, and I’m talking like perfect score on the SAT while going to a mediocre high school smart. I consider meeting this girl pure luck and it was just a freak occurrence, and no, I did not even get to sleep with her LOL.

I agree with Kieran Tsao in that the white girls who are A-OK with Asian men tend to be girls who are let’s say….operating on a plane of higher intelligence, but these girls are not exactly common, but in fact, slightly rare (just my opinion). Hey, maybe I’m wrong, and let’s hope so. They also tend to be girls who have like an Asian male fetish kinda thing going on, which I’m not going to complain about, but it’s like I just wished a girl liked me for me, and no, it doesn’t have to be a white female. I just so happen to message a lot of them and try to hit on a lot of them because…well….most girls are white here in America. Other than all of what I said, I’ve pretty much had no experience with women, but I wonder if it’s entirely because of ME and my actions, or if racial preference amongst females is partly to blame as well.

I’ve been rejected about 10 or 11 times in a row in person by girls of all races, and it hurts. I encourage all Asian men to keep on trying and to not be afraid.
Sometimes, I honestly wonder if it’s because I am indeed unattractive, and this is why I am still all alone, but when a gay black guy says “I’m fine as hell” and is trying to hit on me, I remember that I am not because gay black dudes don’t lie about that kinda shit LOL.

To the white guy who had the Asian roommate, isn’t it weird how some people have chemistry like that with women? I actually know of an Asian guy younger than me who gets girls approaching him all the time, and I’ve seen it happen with my own eyes. He tells me it’s about skill, but I’m like c’mon man, you mean to tell me it’s all skill when the girl goes up to hit on YOU when you haven’t even spoken to her? >__> . And isn’t it weird how a small percentage of white guys like yourself (I used to have a tall, handsome looking white friend who only had a few girls in his life so far but none were seriously hot) have had little success? And I bet your social skills are very reasonable like mine as well. I don’t believe you need a serious amount of bravado, “swag”, or assholishness to get really attractive women. Sometimes, I honestly believe that our love life is seriously determined by god himself and a roll of the dice, and there’s your fucking fate right there. Because I know guys who don’t necessarily have that bravado or whatever, seem pretty normal and nice, and have cute girlfriends, and I have seen a 5’6 average looking Asian dude like yourself who has got that badass kinda vibe and attitude about him who hilariously seeks out ugly girls to sleep with (one literally just had a deformed face) so I know he ain’t sleeping with hotties if he’s ok with seeking out ugly chicks.

Overall, the dating and love game is pretty weird. You see all sorts of shit that don’t make no sense, and I would logically argue that this is a game with an incredibly high rate of variance, possibly even more than poker. You could meet a white girl today that doens’t look that great, and she avoids you like the plague, and tomorrow you could see a totally drop dead gorgeous one checking you out, and secretly shes dying for you to talk to her, but she’s too afraid to talk to you first, and you’re too afraid to talk to her…and nothing ever happens. The rewards in this game can be immense with little to no effort, and the rewards can also be almost non-existent despite a tremendous amount of effort. I mean it’s totally fucking unpredictable if you really really think about it (but don’t or else you will go crazy like me). I once heard a white girl who was about 5’11 or so, pretty face, really nice chest – pretty much the last girl I would’ve ever thought would anything to do with me at all – talking about how cute she thought I was and how she would fuck me (she disappeared shortly afterwards and I never got a chance to talk to her). Meanwhile, I’m rejected by girls who are nowhere close to par with her level. Completely fucking unpredictable guys.

My advice is to continue to have confidence in yourself, and to not give a shit about what rejections you face or how these females respond, because you don’t deserve to let them have power and control over your emotions, and it’s the same advice I tell myself.



JDog November 26, 2013 at 3:51 am

By the way, this Brandon dude is somewhat full of shit. I mean, seriously dude, it seems like you’re just trying to brag about how great you are when you’ve done little to contribute with anything of true value that can help out other Asian guys. There are obviously things in our control that we can adjust to change our results in life, and there are things out of our control, and I think the discussion here is how big of a factor are the thing things we can’t control is it?

C’mon man, there’s no need to brag – that’s like me going up to a homeless man and telling him that my life is so much better than his because he is poor or something. Since you felt the need to brag, I guess I should brag to you that I come from a really rich family, one of the richest ones in Taiwan back in the day. Our combined net worth is in the mid 8 figure range, and you can brag all you want, but at the end of the day, I’m shitting on you LOL (I’m only trying to be a dick to Brandon, not the other people). Doesn’t feel too great when it’s done to you now does it?

Also, to say online dating is for losers is a really fucking prick thing to say. There’s a white guy I know who has dated hundreds of girls, and do you know where he found his final girl who eventually became his wife? That’s right, through online dating. Btw he’s probably made more than you ever will.

Yeah I know I wrote a shitload of stuff and got offtopic with irrelevant information, but yes, in conclusion, I believe that most white females in America don’t even have Asian dudes on their radar and it’s all kind of fucked up (because they are the majority here and then if you want to find Asian girls and you’re in a place that doesn’t really have any…well..).


David December 5, 2013 at 1:22 am

JDog is right. There is no rhyme or reason to dating. I’ve been turned down by ugly girls but pursued by really hot ones.
The real problem IS online dating. When you meet someone the old fashioned way, there are a multitude of variables at work as you interact. With an online profile, its all words. When some midget girl wants a guy six feet or more, what does she think when she see’s, in real life, a built, handsome, average height guy? She really digs him – that’s what! He towers over her anyway! What’s a couple more inches when she’s a 5′ midget herself? All these five foot midget girls who say they want six feet would, in a real life setting, go nuts for a handsome guy 5’8″ – 5’10”, who, again, towers over their short little ass anyway.
What women say and what they do, as every guy knows, are two different things. Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore divorced. He filed, but she announce she wanted out way before he filed. What did height do for that marriage? Height wears off after a while. I wonder how many women with tall husbands are having affairs with shorter guys this very minute. I bet it would be in the millions if not tens of millions.
Plus, a lot of these women who fancy themselves an 8 or 9 are more like a 5 or 6 in the face, not to mention the ones who forget to mention they either have NO ass (big turnoff) or an ass like a frickin’ hippo.
In a real life setting, once you are in the average height range, as a very, very good buddy of mine says, its looks, charisma and intelligence that take over.


Anonymous October 3, 2012 at 7:26 pm


“Ever look at an ‘average’ Asian guy? They’re hideous with sense of style, no aura of presence and horrible social manners.”
“It’s not hate.”

“You will not get with a beautiful girl if you are average.”

“They prefer half decent looking guys with some extra spending money.”

Brandon, would you care to let us know which of these comments you’d like to stand by?


Brandon October 4, 2012 at 8:51 pm

Even taking the quotes in singularity and out of context: They make sense.

It’s just too bad that YOU don’t understand any of them. Why? Because YOU have zero experience with any of the above comments.

You trying to out do me is like a blind guy telling a sighted guy what a color tv looks like.

And yes, I stand by all my comments.

Next attempt at flaming me please.


Brandon October 6, 2012 at 4:24 pm

Whoo, a college degree!

Let me do a dance.

You and the other 10 million people have college degrees.

Get a few more letters after your name, a great career and a smoking hot girl beside you and then we can talk one on one.



Anonymous October 6, 2012 at 6:10 pm

Maybe I should’ve said expensive private school…you effing prick!! AND I DO HAVE A HOT GIRLFRIEND!


Brandon October 7, 2012 at 9:23 am

Unless you went to Stanford, Harvard, Yale or Princeton, which are not that expensive when compared to good public schools, then the people I notice that went to ‘expensive’ private school are ‘special’. Special meaning that they need more help and focused attention. That they don’t do well in society and have an extremely poor self image of themselves.

And your hot girlfriend? Blow up dolls and paying live cam girls do not count.


Anonymous October 6, 2012 at 5:10 pm

“I have said this time and time again. Have you ever seen a white guy in a chinese movie. He is portrayed as stupid, smelly and lazy. So, where is YOUR defense for the white guy in this movie? What? No? Then YOU are the RACIST!!!”

Yes I’ve seen movies from asia with stereotypical portrayal of whites but the U.S. is made up by immigrants (except for native american indians) and 1/3 (pretty soon it will be 1/2) are minorities, China is homogeneous. I’m not saying that justifies the media portrayals in China, but 1/3 of Chinese are not minorities from other countries like the U.S. and I’m tired of people like you calling racist which does absolutely nothing to further the discussion when I even talked about having caucasian friends who have a different political view than I do…like I’ve said, YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A TROLL AND STOP GETTING IN THE WAY!!!!!!


Anonymous October 6, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Western movies with asian actors…there’s always an asian reasoning and even though Ang Lee have directed movies in the U.S. they are represented for the majority of the demographics, not the minority. I can’t name one film in the U.S. where the main hero was asian without the asian reasoning other than low budget independent films that not many people know about.


Anonymous October 6, 2012 at 6:34 pm

By the way I said there were times where I didn’t seem as welcome, but not all the time. You’re right, most of the time, I was automatically accepted socially but there times that some wanted conflicts that I didn’t start and I just ignored them. I don’t why, they were just punks that were jealous. You almost sound like you’re not an asian (maybe you’re part asian?) only because I grew up in a very conservative town myself and moved to a liberal city, and the attitude in the conservative town was that they judge you first and once they’ve gotten to know you, they like you, and a liberal city is the other way. Believe it or not, I even friended racist people (though they don’t hate).


Anonymous October 7, 2012 at 1:43 am

Also Brandon obviously you are exaggerating or lying but there’s no way, there’s no way, someone wouldn’t of noticed you differently and called you names because I grew in a conservative white town and not only were there name calling but there were some hostility too that I didn’t even start like tripping, spitting, pushing, stealing, etc which you love to hear about. YOU obviously don’t look asian at all or your part asian without the asian features or you’re not even an asian person but just pretending to be.


Brandon October 7, 2012 at 9:35 am

It’s too bad that you experienced what you experienced and attributed to you being ‘asian’.

I am pretty sure that you were ‘picked on’ was because you just exuded ‘Loserism’ (new word I just made up. What you describe is just simple bullying. Not because of racism.

Racism is much more aggressive. You know: tying you to a car and dragging you down the street.

As for not being asian. You are right. I am not asian. I am American. Because I live in America.

America is a nation. Asia isn’t.

As for not looking asian or being full asian. Who gives a F?

On a side note. I am over 6′ tall. Unless you are taller than me. Or better looking than me. I stick out like a massive sore thumb. Literally.

By constantly pointing out asia this and asia that. Well, someone is definitely playing the race card.

You are a loser because you are a loser. Not because you are ‘asian’. You are using being ‘asian’ as an excuse for all your short comings in life.


Brandon November 13, 2012 at 12:00 am

It is too bad that those who see my comments as bullying because all it means is that those who feel that way are pussies.

If you think that I am just being mean spirited, y’all have a lot to learn and experience about the hard and harsh realities of life.

I am equally ‘mean spirited’ to my friends. Good friends. And yes, they have been my life long friends who would die for me ( as I would for them).

Motivational speeches is for spineless fools who will never get anything done. My belief that has been successful in real life is that I will rear you apart as viciously as I can. If you fold and crumple, you will never be that because you never truly had it in you. This is pure truth because the world out there is pure competition. The guy next to you wants that same higher up job that you want. Someone else wants to make the extra $100k more than you. And yea, the guy sitting beside you wants to tap that same hot pussy that you want to tap.

So, as ‘your’ competitor, I will do everything to not just discourage you but to destroy you.


Lee November 13, 2012 at 11:12 am

Brandon, try ‘rearing me apart’ and I’ll be sure your ass gets ripped apart and is handed back to you in a plate. It’s not what you say, but how you say it. You piss off people, you pay the price. Karma’s a bitch; you try talking to people like that, I think you’ll be introduced to the floor often, as well as having your own teeth missing. Women wouldn’t touch obnoxious little shits like you. Thank God not everyone thinks like you otherwise we’d still be in the dark ages clubbing each other over the head. BTW, you are a pussy if you refuse to show a pic of yourself backing your shit up, as others have said here already. Seriously, stop trolling and grow the hell up, son.


Andy December 7, 2012 at 2:03 am

Brandon, you’re such an intolerant fool, and you’re not helping yourself or anyone. Why are you putting people down for?! They haven’t done anything to you!! This is an interracial site, even if it says amww, it’s just a title, THAT’S ALL IT IS!! We’re all sick of your posts, EVERYONE knows what you mean!!! You’re right, it’s you (the guy) that has to attract the female, WE GET IT!! NOW STOP THAT!! You’re not only cyber bullying, you’re making everyone feel bad, draining people’s energy, do you realize that??!!


Brandon November 13, 2012 at 11:52 pm


Is that all you got? Trying to make me look bad with spelling errors? Really? Aside from demanding me to show a pic of myself, what next? You want to see my report card too to see if I have straight A’s to prove that I am Asian.

Again, I personally and absolutely could care less about hurting anybody’s feelings. You and others getting offended is not my problem, its yours. I will never be responsible for what I say that pisses you off. What angers you is all up to your own hang ups.

If karma is a bitch. Then I have been very very good to people as I have an incredibly awesome life.

And don’t worry abut trying to knock my teeth out. My buddies are MMA’s. I will be happy to talk to you after you get through them. Yeah, they are bad asses and I am not a very nice person when push comes to shove as well.

And it is obvious that you know nothing about women short of beating off to Internet porn. Women love guys like me. You know: tall, incredibly good looking, highly educated, successful, etc etc etc.


Your turn.


Andy December 9, 2012 at 4:30 pm

Also Brandon, if you feel that you’re all this hot shit about being American, why don’t you go to those extremist sites and brag on those sites for being intolerant??? You’re such a coward!!! All because this is a liberal, pacifist site, it’s easy to be attacked!! You’re nothing but a fascist, far right wing, bagger!!!


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